Sorry's Just Not Good Enough

Bitching for a week is fine. Girls have excuses when they bitch for a week. They can always say that it's that time of month. Perfect excuse, right? But what if it goes on for three weeks? Really unacceptable. I have used Valentine's Day as an excuse but it just doesn't sound right. I have been harassed by OSAC, stressed with Green Evo, plus there's all these school work I have to finish. I have midterms next week! Are these excuses good enough to justify the way that I have been acting lately? Let's see...

1. I've screamed at my seatmate who did nothing wrong to me. After almost 2 weeks of him not talking to me (which was torture because he's really fun to be with), we finally did and we're good, although I still think he hates me.
2. I shouted at my logistics head over the phone and when we talked face to face for jeopardizing my event which until now, is not approved. Everytime I see him, I can't help myself from making hirits to him and his 'stupidity.'
3. I kept on asking my other friend who was able to close a deal with a sponsor. Thing is, I act like I don't appreciate all his efforts. At least, he's a the only person who tells me when I'm being a bitch, and that I should just stop.
4. I find myself getting into arguments with a lot of people just because I don't get what I want or hear what I want to hear.

I've apologized to the people I've shouted at, screamed at, yelled at, argued with. But I feel like saying stupid things, throwing BF's... for three weeks (!!!) ..sorry is just not good enough. Diba?

Truth is, I dunno what has gotten into me. For some reason I'm always in a bad mood and it's like I'm always about to snap and have another bitch fit. I'm lucky to have friends who understand my moodswings. I dunno if it's moodswings because the changes are sometimes too overwhelming that even I don't quite understand. I mean, my mornings go perfectly well...I'm my usual jolly self. But when I start meeting up with different people for projects...my mood suddenly shifts and you could see it in my face that I'm just pissed. It's different when I'm unhappy about something, but when I'm pissed, my mouth could go on and on like an armalite, blurting hurtful words I don't really mean.

I am not trying to justify the way that I've been acting. It seems that I just have no control over it, or I just dunno how to control myself yet. I hate it when I'm acting like a brat. And I hate it that people would say, that's just how I am. These are the kinds of attitude that needs to be changed and I won't be able to if the people around me allow it. But it's not like I've always been like this...or have I?!