If I Just Lay Here

I have been laying here (in the house) for weeks. I have been looking forward to graduation and now that it's over, I dunno what else to look forward to. I was looking forward to my (ours actually..with Zaza) grad party. But my dad all of a sudden offered Hong Kong. I dunno why I chose Hong Kong and agreed so quickly with my Dad's offer. I mean, I've been there before! I have been wanting a grad party for weeks because I've been homesick. Homesick, meaning I'm sick of being at home. I haven't seen my blockmates and my girlfriends (well..I've spent a lot of times with Marga and Ida), my cousins for a long time and I wanted to see them and party with them. It's not so much for the gifts I asked them (haha! I did ask them but it was a joke!) or another party that will for sure get everybody drunk. It was simply for the company and the catching up. I didn't graduate with my blockmates. I'm ahead one term so during the graduation, there were no group pictures with the block. Crap..I hate being sentimental. This is what being a bum makes me do!!!

Shifting and not having my blockmates in every class was a good move. I wanted to expand my horizons and I did. I love the relationships I formed with the Marketing Management people. There was JEMA, then there were my crazy classmates. I must say, that Kuala Lumpur trip 2 years ago had a lot to do with it. Going on a trip together with my classmates really bonded us together. A hotel room, booze and a bunch of people who wanted to have fun one night (2 nights!) I think sealed the deal. It started from there and everything else just fell into place I guess. I dunno where else I'm gonna see those guys, but I do hope to see them again.
____________________________________

I am a brat. I'm sorry I can't help it. I can't help but want what I want and everyone knows, when I want something, I have to have it! I wanted the trip and the party. But I chose only 1 and it made me feel bad. I still feel bad. It's like I'm 13 again and I wanted the expensive Baby-G watch. I cried my eyes out but I got it eventually. But I grew up and when I wanted the Nine West boots that my parents refused to give me one Christmas, I knew: I can't have it all. I believe, however, if you want something badly enough and work hard enough for it, you can have it. Is it the same for people though?! Can I have someone whom MAYBE I can't have? I hate what-ifs. But I have so much of it. Now that I've graduated...is it too late? So for now, I'll just lay here.