Caliraya II, Blah, Goddesses, One Of the Boys, Someday

CALIRAYA II

Well for the last part of Caliraya...we just went to the camp again then after that..we went home.
Man..the ride home was just hell. I ate too much and maybe the long drive home didn't help. I felt really dizzy. Good thing there were plastic bags around. I threw up. I hate that feeling..and the smell. Hehe.. well I gagged twice and then I felt a little better. Then I got home..and that's the second part. Haha. I'm just really not up to narrate the story detail by detail like I did the first part.

BLAH

Well anyway..my vacation's almost over. Well I think I got two weeks left. I haven't enrolled yet. Typical of me. I don't even know when I'm supposed to enrol. I think I lost my EAF. Oh well.. I'll look for it maybe later..if I remember that I have to find it.
I was watching The Hunchback of Notredam just before I logged in. Well I argued with my mom as usual because she was gonna watch her frikking soap operas. I was in their room using their TV because the TV in the I don't know what to call that room..TV room I guess..well it's fucked up because sometimes there are no sounds coming out. Sheesh. Flat TV pa naman. As usual I forfeit. Hello..she's my mom! I just walked out. Not quietly of course. I dunno. But my mom just pisses me off so easily. Now this is funny. Mother's Day is on Sunday and right now I'm really mad at my mom because of the simple TV. Hmm.. I've been thinking of giving her a letter so I could explain and apologize for being such a bad daughter. That even despite all my actions I love her and no one could ever replace her in my heart (AWW...is this really me?!). But really..I'm just not used to that. I swear. I've had this New Year's resolution years ago that I'd say "I love you" to my family..but it's just not...me..or US. I mean, my family's really weird. Sometime's I really hate my family for not being supportive of me..but I'd never trade these people. We all have strong personalities and most of the time..we just clash.

Well..as usual...I'm not giving her that letter. One time I remember doing a portrait of her..when I was really young for her birthday. I really worked hard to do it..and it looked exactly like her! But I didn't give it to her. I recall going to my room and looking at the picture I drew. I was just about to give it to her but my siblings didn't have anything to give to her. What we usually do is that someone would buy something and it'll all come from us. But I couldn't possibly write in there that it came from all of us because I made that! So when I looked at it..I felt guilty that my siblings have nothing to give to her..and while looking at it..I saw that the eyes were not symmetrical. And I draw eyes all the time. I doodle eyes every where. But I just saw that it wasn't symmetrical. So I just crumpled my artwork and fed it to the trash can.

So I guess Mother's Day..Ate Erin will have a present..she has money! And she'd put our names in it and she'd collect money from us. We'll watch a movie, eat out like we usually do on Sundays.

GODDESSES

Going back to the story. If you don't know yet. I'm Esmeralda. Haha! My friends labeled me that. FYI...my friends and I are very conceited people. We call ourselves goddesses. Well I mean..it's true!!! All of us look like Disney goddesses! Gawwdd..it's sounds silly. I'm Esmeralda because of the dark skin and the colorful life she has. Damn..the theme for my 18th birthday was even bohemian. Anyway.. Abby's Princess Jasmine cos they both have these thick brows, dark eyes, long hair and according to her she's morena. Yeah right! So what does that make me?! Haha. She's morena because everyone in her family's mestizo and mestiza. Then.. Ida's Pocahontas. She has the long hair..or used to and the chinky eyes with the angular face and she's morena. Then Therine is..well it used to be Snow White because she has really white skin and black hair. But I told her Cinderella's more appropriate because for me, Cinderella's prettier..I mean same features..except for the hair..and she left her glass slipper, right? Well Therine's a little clumsy. A little! And back in high school leaving her shoe behind is normal. Hehe. Toni on the other hand used to be Belle. For the features, they're not really the same..but she used to have this beast following her around. Haha. But I told her that she should be the goddess from Hercules. I dunno the name but she's prettier than Belle..and must I say sexier. Well Toni's really sexy. And she has her Hercules! And Marga's Ariel the mermaid! Not because she has the fishtail. She's a good swimmer. Well I dunno if they noticed this but both of them has big pretty eyes. And Karla. She's Aurora. Simply because she's asleep all the time. I mean 15 minute car ride and she'll fall asleep. Haha. I think that's the only thing they have in common. Karla's really sporty and not very feminine as compared to the very demure Aurora. Well that's the history of the goddess thing. I dunno if people can stand us if we're all together. Haha. Maybe people would just get sick of us talking of how perfect we all are. Funny thing is...perfect as we are..only 2 of us have boyfriends and I think only 2 more have their love lives activated. And as expected..I'm not any of those 4 people.

ONE OF THE BOYS

And why is that you ask?! People around me tell me alll the time that I'm just intimidating. Well maybe I am. Okay, I am. "Lalapit pa lang ung guy eh pinapaalis mo na!" I have that attitude daw. (Even Zaza's friends are scared of me. Sheesh. I don't bite!) In my block actually I know that some guys are kinda intimidated. I just happen to say what's on my mind and I don't give a shit if they'd like it or not. And I say it straight. Parang target. I have guy friends. I'm with them all the time actually, especially last term. It was okay. I mean it was fun. But I'm treated as one of the boys. Man! They talk about girls, sex, body-building shit, sex, porn, girls...holy shit! I've given a few of them lectures actually on how they should treat women. They talk about women a lot and I don't like what I hear. Well I guess that's guy talk. And when they realize I'm there with them they'd go "Ah! Si Edel naman yan eh! One of the boys." Great. Well it's okay. It's like going to the other side of the fence. I hear what they gotta say. So I pretty much know how guys think. With that experience.. I've concluded that I'll never meet a boy for me in DLSU. I know it's "hasty generalization" but I really do feel I won't meet a boy I like in there. I have these frikking standards too! I told my friends I've dropped these standards..but I guess I really haven't. And I've watched way too many romantic comedies and read as many romance novels. I wanna have that spark and that from-the-moment-i-saw-you-i-knew shit. Haha. Too ideal my friends said..but hello! Love should be ideal! Besides, I've waited too long and I've stopped waiting. If it comes, it comes.

SOMEDAY...

"It will come...someday." I was just talking to Kathy and she was sharing her date with this guy she really doesn't like. I was really happy for her. It was her first date! Of course I'm happy for her. The guy seems okay. She said he's cute but he keeps texting her stuff like he's tired, he's wasted. Well obviously the guy wants her to say something sweet or something mushy and Kathy's just not like that...so I told her to call him "DUDE" or "PARE" and for sure the guy will get the message and that's what I call all the guys I know. Haha. And she said "Hayy nako..tatanda ka ng dalaga niyan! Di bale kunin kitang Ninang ng anak ko." That wasn't very nice. Funny though. So my reply was "It will come someday...20 years from now." Haha. Well I never want to be that matandang dalaga! I'm beautiful! I wanna have children who'll be as beautiful as me! Haha. I've never pictured myself as an old maid! NOOOO!!! Haha. When my Titas ask if I have a boyfriend, they're like disappointed that I don't have one yet. I know for sure Zaza's gonna have one before I do. (It's really ironic because she once told me that she thought that I'd get a boyfriend first before Ate Erin..hehe..EEE!!! Wrong!). I have a Lola..she's an old maid and they told me I might end up like her...oh no! That's a nightmare! Hehe. I just laugh at the thought. I mean I'm only 19! Only is appropriate..right? Of course it is! I have my whole life ahead of me. I'll meet him...SOMEDAY. ;) I just hope he's artistic..a rockstar would do...with a really good sense of humor..of course who smells really good..has a beautiful mind (not like the guy from A Beautiful Mind!), who'd drive ME out of MY mind and I'd drive HIM out of HIS mind! With beautiful eyes...and a really nice body..well I don't really like guys with "muskles". Haha! For some reason I like thin guys...not payatot! Perfect teeth...Basta.. Someone who'd write me a song or paint me. He can carry deep conversations...and non-sense talks shempre...who's really extreme...who'd go bungee jumping...and... I dunno...he has to be perfect for me I guess. Simple as that. Now a perfect guy is different from a guy who's perfect for me. Basta someone who'll sweep me off my feet. Hayyy....SOMEDAY...but what's taking him so long?!