The End is a New Beginning

I went to the office today to submit my resignation letter and to finalize everything. IT WAS SOOOO HARD!!! Today's Monday so that means all the big bosses will have their weekly meeting. I was late so I was pretty shocked that Ms. Isa was still in the room. I greeted her of course but you can sense everything was awkward. I really can't look at her in the eye or share to her my weekend because I'm nervous. Yes, she understood why I was doing it but it's obviously hard on both of us. Hayyy...

So there I was, preparing everything for a smooth turnover. It was all good. I printed my resignation letter and since no one aside from my bosses know about it in the office, Angie was schocked to see what I was printing(I use her computer to print stuff). Then the inevitable happened. Word started to spread. My officemates started to approach me if what they heard was true and I tried to just keep a simple answer: "Yes." They'd wanna go into detail of course. Is the salary higher, where's the office, what are you going to do, blahhh. It's touching of course that they're all happy for me and even if they don't know all of the details, the knew it was for the better.

Truth is, a lot of the AE's in the office are unhappy. I'm not one of those people. The Senior AE's are already middle aged men and maybe they feel like they're underpaid and their job is so unstable because they haven't reached their quotas yet. They are the unhappy ones actually. I feel sorry for them in a way because I can see it in their faces that they're unhappy and they're doing it because it's the only thing they have right now. It really is difficult to look for a job, especially if you're getting old. Howell.

I'm happy in Hinge. Seriously. I had a great, great start. During my one on one with Ms. Isa, I really couldn't contain my tears! Whattacry baby. Tss.. Well anyway, I wasn't really able to tell her a lot of things because I was sobbing the whole time. She told me she believes in me and that I could do it. The big bosses wanted her to beg me to stay, but she didn't want to hinder my career growth. Ain't she nice?! Haha. Yeah she is. She showed me the works and I really appreciate it. It just really depresses me that I wasn't able to really give back to the company to think that they've given so much to me. Howell.

I was alone in the office. Bob and LJ were out with their clients, I guess. Ms. Isa left for a meeting. I cleaned my desk, placed all the stuff I had to give back on hers. Ms. D gave Sir Jun my resignation letter and asked him to give me my exit clearance. Sir Jun asked me, "Totoo na ba to?" Again, I just said "Yes." Sir Adel, my Heroes supplier came up to me, "I heard a bad rumor..." "Sir, it's not a rumor. It's true." At that point I wasn't looking at anyone. I'm concentating on my clearance form so they won't see how much of an iyakin I am. Bevs told me she'll give it to me so I went back to my empty office. I sat down for a while to check what I might have missed. Nada. Bevs gave me the clearance and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Goodluck Beh." (Hehe..she's really cute and funny, you'd think she's only in her 20's but she's already a mom and she's in her late 20's). Hayyy... I went down to the Accounting Office aka Harry Potter (it's under the stairs) to have my clearance signed, again, with the questions. Hayyy... It's really understandable I guess. One month on the job and already a resignation? It's boggling, unless everyone knew how unhappy you are. Howell.

I really did look at the room one last time (as in the movies!) and gawwwddd...tears filled my eyes. I had to suck it all up because everyone's gonna see (our office is a frikkin aquarium). I left the office, swiped out and headed to the car. Thank goodness I didn't lose myself!!! I could have been sobbing all the way to the car. Even while driving!!! Tss...

I can't really say it's the end for me in Hinge. I feel like I haven't even started. Bitin. So this new beginning in Arc, I hope I get to really finish it.