Not Ready to Die Yet...

Man.. Wednesday night, I honestly thought I was going to die. It was scary. It was a ride home from school with my carpoolmates: Jordy, Mai (his gf), JC and Camille. As usual, a ride home with Jordy+JC meant laugh trip, literally. We just entered the Skyway and the car was running about 80-100 kph. All of a sudden, a silver CRV in front of us stopped. Still running at that speed, Jordy swerved and *whew*! He slowed down a bit and we found ourselves in the middle of what seemed like a thick fog. We couldn't see anything. Everyone in the car didn't know what the hell was going on. JC wanted to get out of the car. Now, that was just insane. Why would anyone in their right mind wanna go out there?! Someone wanted to stop the car. Criminy, to hell with that. I wanted the car to keep moving. I mean, there were cars behind us and stopping in the middle of the road filled with thick white smoke wasn't a very good idea. They might not see us and crash into us or something. AND!!! I didn't want to stop because we didn't know what the fuck was going on, there might be an explosion or God knows what. I really, really felt we were close to where it was coming from. Crazy Jordy was just laughing, and at the same time trying to figure out what to do. Pinoy talaga. Laughing in the middle of a crisis. The 3 girls of course.. we were screaming. This went on for about a minute. It was the longest 60 seconds, man! Then, maybe the wind blew and we sort of saw the rest of the road and it was cleared, so we told Jordy to go straight ahead. thank goodness! Turns out there was a bus that overheated..or maybe it was burning. I've no idea. Basta galing sa bus. And thank goodness we got out alive. We were all silent for a split second. Processed what just happened there. Then Jordy cracked a joke. He held his girlfriend and said "I love you, babe!" Hahahahaha! "Buti na lang walang nagconfess na 'I'm gay!'" Hilarious. Then for the rest of the ride home, we talked about what if's. What if we died that day???

Yesterday, I rode with Jordy and Mai again going home. Before I stepped into the car, he asked me. "Ano, Edel? Are you ready to die today?" And he was wearing a white polo yesterday which was just..weird. Maybe he had a defense. But whatever. He was wearing a white polo, and asked me if I was ready to die. I'm thinking to myself, "Gawwddd..was he serious?" It's just like in the movies. He's the guy who comes to "pick up" the person who's about to die. Hehe..
Am I ready to die? I've been thinking about it actually since Wednesday night. NO NO NO. I know, I whine about so many things in my life. I complain a lot despite the fact that I'm living a good life. The truth is, I love my life and I love the people around me. It's really just me. I take things for granted. I would really have a lot of regrets if I died that day. There's so much things to experience (uhmm..like fall in love!), so much more to see. I have a list in my head of the things I should do before I die..and I haven't accomplished anything yet!!!

1. Surf/bungee jump/sky dive. - Haha!!! Man..I have yet to experience the thrill...
2. Watch Wimbledon in Wimbledon! - Just one of those things I wanna do.
3. See the pyramids in Egypt. - One of the things I wanna see.
4. Plant a tree, write a book and give birth to a son. - According to my Lolo, these are the ways to be immortalized. Leave a mark on earth before you go. I've planted a tree. That's the only thing I've done yet. Give birth to a son...hmm...I'll edit this a bit. Just to have a child (with my husband ah, kung sino man ang magiging swerteng lalaking un..haha!) whom I can raise to be a good person is better, I guess. Besides, my Lolo is kinda sexist. That son is supposed to carry the name of the dad. What about my name?! And..maybe to have a building named after me..maybe in La Salle or STC. Hehe!

To have goals like that is great and everything but death as they say, is like a thief in the night, you'll never know when it's gonna come. So at the end of the day, it's not about what you want to do in your life, but rather what you have done already. The sad thing is I dunno if I could honestly say I've done something good. If God would ask me what I've done on earth... I don't think I'll be able to answer him.

So will that experience change me to be a better person? Will my now, self-centered bitch self change??? I have to. I just know I have to.