Inner Angst

When we were in Caliraya Ida said something to me that made me confuse about myself more. She heard me talking in my sleep. I woke her up actually in the middle of the night because of my sleep talking. I asked her what I was saying and she said she couldn't really understand but from the tone of my voice I sounded really mad and all she could hear was "Damn it! Damn it!"

I'm a very happy person. Well who am I kidding?! Things could be a lot better but generally, everything's okay. I've always believed that dreams have meanings and it could be saying what's in my subconscious. I've never tried having my dreams interpreted or anything but I just know they mean something. And me saying "Damn it! Damn it" and mumbling a lot of things with rage tells me I have to let something out. But I really don't know what it is. At that particular point, I was having a good time. I mean, I'm with my friends on vacation. What could possibly make me angry?

The Caliraya trip has been weeks ago but that sleep talking shit is still troubling me. I've done a lot of sleep-talking before. But I hear it's all about silly things. Like aliens. Gawwddd.. I dreamed that there was an alien in our room. Hehe. That was funny and it scared the hell out of my sister. And the other time was when I ate too much. That was years ago. My brother's birthday. Our van was new and new cars have this certain smell. I ate too much that I got dizzy or something..in my sleep I said "Huwag! Huwag kang sasakay jan! Mahihilo ka jan!" Hehehe..another good one. So I only have 3 stories about my sleep talking. Since I had my own room for a few years, maybe no one's heard me talk then. Now that I'm sharing a room with my sister..maybe she didn't hear the other times. Or maybe I haven't been talking in my sleep! The dream-catcher works! Hehe..