Am I Wrong?!

Yesterday was Tita Baby's cremation. I knew from the day before that we weren't attending it. It was okay I guess. It was understood for us not to be there. I was in fact excited yesterday because I thought Zaza and I were gonna have our golf lessons in the afternoon. Funny thing is, Ate Erin was home and she said she was going to attend the mass before the cremation. I would never thought in a million years she would do that. First of all, she doesn't go to mass anymore...so why start yesterday? Secondly, when we visited Tita Baby when she was sick, she didn't say a single word to her. She refused to stay in the room where the sick lady was and try to make a conversation...so why all of a sudden attend this thing? I knew she's trying to do something but I didn't want to say it because I don't wanna be a bitch about it.


She was already preparing and I was still thinking on whether or not I should go. I really wanted to play golf!!! And besides, personally, I am really hurt of what Tita Baby's family did to my family, plus I'll be seeing my relatives who also hurt my family. I mean, is it wrong to hate the people who hurt your family? I am not mad at them anymore. It's more of indifference. I don't want anything to do with them anymore. And I really wanted to play golf, have I mentioned? There was no lunch because and we had to shop for groceries. I'm gonna have to leave the house anyway and since there's only one car left and I was having lunch with my sister, I felt like I have no choice. But actually, I did. If I really didn't wanna go, I could have asked her to bring me back home. But then again, knowing her, maybe she won't do it. Then I thought...I'm so shallow that I'd rather play golf than attend the cremation ceremonies. I felt guilt, can you imagine?! So I decided to go. While having lunch with my sister, I was still thinking of what I just did. I'm going because I felt guilty of choosing golf over a dead relative... We ended up re-scheduling the golf for today and Zaza came with us.

When we got there, we found out that they started early. We didn't catch the mass and the body was already being cremated. We had no choice but to stay until it is done. The good thing about the whole thing though, is that my second cousins were there: Ate Mahal, Ate Janel, Tintin and Miguel. We had a chat about what's up with everyone..bleh.. And then...Ate Erin brought up the reunion. I knew it. That was her agenda because she promised Tita Baby she would arrange a reunion like the ones we had in the past: with the costumes and presentations. She was talking so loudly and Tita Baby's family was just right in front of us. To make things worse, Zaza revealed that she was just doing it because of her promise to a dying woman. WTF?! Sometimes, I swear...my two sisters could really be soooo... I dunno...tactless? Sheeesssssshhhhh... They set the date and even the frikking theme!

By the time we left the cemetery, I saw from Tita Boots and Tita Cheng's faces they weren't ready for a reunion and so was Mama. There was still anger there and I knew for sure Mom wasn't ready either. I mean, that's why she wasn't there, right?! I'm just sooooooooooo pissed....
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On a lighter note, I finally went to Zaza's..CELL?! Whatever that is...a bible study thing. Got to meet new faces and who knows, I might keep it up. Interesting enough, the leader, whom Zaza wants me to date..is a lot like me. We have a lot of things in common. I think he's a better version of me: better in piano, tennis, learning the violin (I really wanted to play that instrument before), an asthmatic who just swam until it went away, a true artist and an economist. Haha. I'm still deciding on whether or not he's cute. Heh! Typically, I could really like the guy. I mean, knowing he does all that is already a turn on. Thing is though..he's too nice..he preaches God's word! Nothing against religious people...but although I made that "turn," I haven't "fallen on his neck yet." (If you have any idea what that means..haha!) I can sense that he's done some pretty messed up things too, but..I dunno..he's just...too nice. It's not a bad thing, but I feel like he's too nice a guy for me. He's too nice that he can actually make me change my fucked up ways.

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On a not so good news, the kois are sick!!! The white ones have reddish scales and most of them swim on their sides, of just lying at the bottom of the pond. Well, funny thing last night, after our "cell" (I still dunno what that is exactly), we went to Total to put air on the kiddie pool Kuya Colin picked up all the way from Ubay. It can't fit inside the car soo crazy thing...Zaza and I had to sit on the windows with our upper body out of the car so we could hold the kiddie pool at the top of the car. It was soooo funny. It gave me a high though. It was 12am, the stars were twinkling and the cool wind blew on our faces and I was laughing so hard.

We had to transfer the kois from the pond to the aquariums, fill the kiddie pool with water. We can't put the kois in the kiddie pool last night because kois have to be in "mature" water so it was just this morning that the kois were transferred there. I even went out to buy another kiddie pool because the kois are soo big they can't fit in the aquariums and kiddie pool. Hayy..it's chaos in here. My mom's really worried that she wasn't able to go to work. Gotta check the kois now! Hope they're better!!!

SAVE THE KOIS!!!