Blab Blob Blog

I'm home alone and can't think of anything to do. How pathetic. Here I go again, pondering on my existence... I actually don't like the idea that this blab blob blog is open to everyone. Only my closest friends know about this and I'm pretty sure they don't even go here. Hayyy...
I like reading Ikay's blog. She's very positive. She's totally in love with this guy who unfortunately, doesn't reciprocate her feelings but I feel that she's really lucky to be feeling what she's feeling right now. I believe that love is not a two-way thing. It's one way because when you love someone, you love that person with you whole heart and don't expect anything in return. She really is feeling love. I'm too selfish I think to be able to feel that. I can never love someone who won't love me back..I think.

Pondering, pondering. I have my Market1 class now and I'm having a good time. The teacher's really cool. Well anyway, he said to us that a person's attitude could only be 1. Positive or 2. Negative. Obviously, Ikay has that positive attitude. And I have the latter. It's actually a choice, if you want to enjoy life or reflect on it's deeper aspects and think about your problems. That's just sooo me. I can't help but see myself as the woman version of the character Hugh Grant plays in About A Boy. A "superficial loser"..and "I'm really this shallow." I mean that's negative attitude right there.

I am bored..and I'm alive. How sad!!! Damn! There I go again. I think I heard somewhere that it's a choice to feel bored. So...I choose this?! Who would wanna be bored?! Well yeah..instead of wasting my time right here maybe I could do something else? Like what?! Watch TV??? Well..that's boring too..but what the heck...Aryt..I'll go watch Big Fish again...
Before I do...Hmm..Big Fish! This has got to be one of the best films ever. I watched this with my family and I tried pulling back my tears. I am so afraid to talk to my parents about the shit hole I'm in right now and I didn't want to end up like the father and son in the film. They didn't talk for 3 years. 3 fucking years...