The Evil Sister Lives

Oh God! I can't believe Zaza. I interrupted her for a few minutes on the computer two nights ago..and we're not talking. I didn't even mean to interrupt! Well she was chatting with her freaking crush via YM and I just had to print ID pictures of me and my mom and she goes pinching me calling me a fucking bitch who is insecure for not having a guy drooling over me. Too bad for her I locked her out of our room. What was that anyway? I even did her a favor! I politely told her crush "brb" so the Shin Chan looking guy who, by the way is not even cute, wouldn't think Zaza ignored him or something. AND! I didn't even bother reading what the hell they were talking about because I was rushing to look for the fucking ID pictures so I could leave and she could go on talking with that creature. And she calls me an insecure bitch who's just sooooo envious for not having a guy to chat with. That's just soo lame. And all I did was lock her out of the room for one night. Sheesh. And then now, I'm the infamous evil sister..as usual. Poor Zaza. Her evil sister locked her out of the room. What about poor me for not having a guy to chat with in the middle of the night?! Nahhh...just not me. Hehehe.. And just for the record... I'm not insecure with her. Now you can think whatever you want to think.. that I really am and that I'm just too proud to admit it. But really though. No. Well you can read my entries again about me fantasizing about the guy of my dreams, but as of now..that's not what I'm concerned with. Sure, having romance wouldn't hurt, but I just want direction in my life. And love life isn't just in my priorities. I want to do this on my own...love life will come after. Seriously though, I don't know if I should be happy for Zaza. I feel like she's just experiencing peer pressure. Yeah right, and I'm not? Well...yeah! She keeps complaining about her friends obsessing over guys and here she is obsessing over one! I've heard her so many times bitching about her so-called "friends" (who ditched their studies to hang out and spot some boys at their school) saying that all they think about is boys boys boys and there she was dragging me out of the computer and calling me an insecure bitch (I can just say thing over and over again) just so she could talk to her guy. What is that?! The funny thing is, with her friends, she's always, always, always (!) making it as if I contaminated her or something with the way I think about boys, having these ridiculous standards, the girl-should-never-do-the-first-move stuff, and a whole bunch of things that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend. It's really annoying because from the way she talks about her friends, she makes it appear like she's not pathetic like her friends chasing over guys..any guy for that matter, but obviously she is. I call that hypocrisy if you ask me. But that's just the evil sister talking..actually no...that's really me talking.

Well..we haven't been talking for almost 3 days now and I'm still not in the mood to talk to her. I'm not sad or anything though. That Yes, we're sisters and we share the same room (as of the moment though, she's sleeping with Ate Erin, and I have the room all by myself...I miss those days!), we live in the same house. We're definitely gonna come around. Sooo not happening today though. Which brings me to the day when we had our Family Encounter. During that time, SHE was so insecure with me that she wished my parents just aborted me the way they really planned to. And I'm not making this up. She even wrote a letter to me saying that she wished I just wasn't born so she doesn't have to compete with me. I kept that letter actually, in a box where my reco letters are. Really sweet of her, huh? But then again, that was for the Family Encounter and that was years ago. Truth is though, she gave that to me AFTER the Family Encounter. But I've forgiven her, tried to forget it, which apparently, I failed to do. It's just that now with our situation, I can't help but think that maybe she still wishes that. BUT! Too bad for her, again...the Evil Sister lives.