Steady Lang...

Friday was Tito Ernie's birthday. Got to spend time with my cousins whom I terribly missed. Seeing them always lifts my spirit. It's really cool to see them after a long time, see how they've changed since the last time we were together. It's really funny how things change in a small period of time. Eona has filed her college applications, Jong is not as quiet as before (which is really good!), Kokoy seems to be a changed man, Ikay..hmm..she's as optimistic as ever. Basically, I just spent the night laughing really hard. Lolo and Lola's 50th Anniversary is coming up and we're all brainstorming on how to celebrate it. We all thought it would happen in Villasis. Man..that would be so chaotic. Then there would be 50 roses, 50 candles, 50 wishes, 50 treasures not to mention 50 kambings, 50 pakbets...haha!!! It was really fun. Then we planned on getting together on October 16. It will be our first time to get drunk. That's something to look forward to.

Ate Erin talked to us and gave us advice. Well that's her job, being the eldest and all. I'm glad she's concerned. Then I realized my life doesn't really have direction. Looking back to what I said, I sounded like a moron. I don't have plans and I don't have goals. I'm just not yet sure of what I want. I've disappointed not just my parents but myself as well but I really believe that I just can't plan my life so easily. There are so many things to consider and it's like what I want should be the last on the list. I feel like I have to prove something to everyone and so far, I haven't done that. My decisions aren't for the long term. How would everything turn out? I really don't know. I'm hating myself for having this "steady lang" attitude byt I can't help it. SHOW ME THE LIGHT!!!

Saturday and Sunday, I went to JEMA's SPOT. It was fun. I got to meet new people and made new friends. I made a complete fool of myself when we had the Mr. and Ms. SPOT where the girls would be the guys and the guys would be the girls. I won Mr. SPOT as Resty Tutok. It was hilarious. Then I also won the "Tuesday Award"..the people thought I was really funny...ok. I didn't really care about everyone else. I was just happy I was in the beach, though I didn't have the chance to sun bathe. I even sang in the videoke and it was sooo bad, but who cares, right? By the end of the whole thing, everyone knew me and at least they realized I'm not so much of a snob. Not so much..meaning I am still a snob. Man. I don't know why, but it's really hard for me to choose people to talk to! Why do I even have to choose? Well..I dunno. That's just me. But at least I made friends.

Maybe I'm just PMS-ing but I feel crappy today. Or it could also be because that talk with my cousins during the weekend is sinking in. I'm in my junior year in college and I'm still clueless. Man!