Me Me Me!!!

I've come to the realization that I'm one selfish bitch. I can live with the thought that I'm a bitch..but selfish? Hhmm...not really. Well I think people just think I'm a bitch because I intimidate them. And what's so intimidating!? I really have no idea. So maybe it's better to say I have a strong personality. Fine.

I just re-read my past entries and it's like I think about myself ALL the time. It's all about me and my hair, over-eating, not going to the frikking gym..and it's all superficial shit! AND I HATE SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE! Gawwdd. I'm such a mess. Do I hate myself?! But..as Paula Cole said in her song..

I am not the person who is singing
I am the silent one inside
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes
I just pacify their egos
I am not my house, my car, my songs
They are only just stops along my way
I am like the winter
I'm a dark cold female
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave

And it is me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying my heart
I am carrying my rhythmn
I am carrying my prayers
But you can't kill my spirit
It's soaring and it's strong
Like a mountain
I'll go on and on
But when my wings are folded
The brightly colored moth
Blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing I love
That I love

I am walking on the bridge
I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better
Yes I know there's something
Yes I know, i know, yes i know

That I love
But it's me
And it's me
But it's me

Hayy hayy hayy... That song captured who I am...and that's me.

For non-me related stuff. Go read another blog. Haha!

Speaking of! I just read Ikay's blog and I can relate with her. But we all get that feeling of "singularity" (?! haha..). I do most of the time. Sometimes I want to engage in deep conversations but there's no one's really into that thing, even my closest friends. So I end up thinking by myself. But it's always fun talking about highly philosophical shit. I enjoy doing it with my cousin, Emilky. I like the way he thinks...sort of like me, but he sees from a different angle and that's always cool. And Ikay! (I know you're reading this!) On Friday, when we have our session, we can talk about books like we always do. Well, I haven't been reading lately..so let's just talk about our artsy-fartsy movies. Haha! The last book talk we have was about Shanghai Baby, if I remember it right. Besides, we need to catch up on our movies! Did you say there's a film fest again in Greenbelt?! =)

And by the way..I remember our band! We're still forming one, right?! I mean for Lolo and Lola's Golden Anniv?! Haha.. That's something to look forward to! Yeah. Finally I'll sing in a band again! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!