RockED!!! Help build their future.

oh yeah...our tarp!!! Milestone itoh!!

PTF - Ernie Sarmiento Division

my favorite, Splitcide!

with Ms. Tañada, Rico (close!) and Lyka

Diana Rising is the shit!!!

Mah lesbo lover, Ther

after the show...SIFON'S (Mike, Gelo, Me, Meos, Kim and Lyka)

The pictures of my fundraising 2 weeks ago... hehe.. Ikay's been waiting..I know. ;)

Christmas Wish List

The other day, Lottie and I were doing our Christmas wish list during Markpro class. How productive. Haha!!! So here they are. They're wishes. I KNOW I probably won't get any of them since I've no money. But if you're actually kind enough to give me any of these..it'll be greatly appreciated. I'm not posting this however, so you'll give 'em to me. I am posting this simply because I wanna throw out the piece of paper where I wrote it. (I just cleaned my part of the room..)

1. Ilaya Bolero (puffed sleeves)
2. iTrip
3. Spa
4. Olive Green Maillot Cut Swimsuit
5. Chucks - high cut (black or yellow)
6. CD: Alanis Morisette or Aqualung
7. DVD: 100 Girls
8. Rockstar Ring (Lottie knows this)
9. Yoga mat
10. That J.Lo Hat! (which turns out to be called Army Cap..)
11. Thick leather watch (I've been eyeing since last Christmas a black Kenneth Cole)
12. SECRET!!! (Think what you want, but I just can't think of a 12th one..haha!)

**On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to meeeeeeeeee!!!


On the second thought, there's another list..

Things to do with my friends: (Again, given that I've no money...I'll come up how to do these things..)
1. Sleepover
2. Spa
3. Parlor
4. Facial
5. Outing
6. Shopping

**Christmas, Christmas. What will be different this year???

**New Year, New year. What's in store for me next year???

***But before anything else, I'll have to do my papers!!!

Kill Me Now!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Days...a film by Gus Van Sant. This is THE worst movie I've ever seen. It's supposed to be about the last 3 days of Kurt Cobain...or at least inspired by it. I've just spent 1 and a half hours watching Michael Pitt, who plays Blake, a rockstar...mumbling and walking in the woods. It's a total waste of time. You'd wish you're on drugs yourself while watching and after, you'd really wanna kill yourself.

And I do feel like killing myself! Unbelievable how a piece of crap can actually end my life. What a sad reason to kill myself, though. But criminy!!! Imagine if I was a really unstable person??? This film could potentially kill me! Gawwdd.. It's really messing with my head now. Really, it is.

Favorite Things

"Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things."

The question is...too bad for who? For me? Yeah maybe. Cos eveytime I feel good about the events I make, I feel guilt. Is it really part of the job description of parents to make their kids feel guilt when they do the things they love?

Tomorrow, there's another party. I didn't organize it myself, given that I'm not really at the top of the food chain in the Student Council. I may sound like I'm wayyyy over my head again, but I brought this thing up the very first meeting of the Batch Assembly. That's why I'm part of this 102 Party thing. I suggested a batch party, not just for the College of Economics, but the whole 102 batch. Jen said they'll bring it up. I said to tie it up with CLA since they're supposed to be the party people. A few months later, it was up and I was the rep from CBE. Tomorrow's the big day, but there were a lot of head banging and I was busy (still is) with my JEMA project so I wasn't able to really go to the meetings.

December 3, another event at Corik's. I should really get my license. Criminy!!! So anyway, on December 3, the continuation of our RockED!!! Help Build Their Future fundraising. A lot of people are buying the CDs by the way. Woohoo!!! We need to sell a few more!!!

Next term is another term. More fundraisers on the way. We'll need to raise funds for the organization Sugar is putting up, LUNCHBOX. It'll give to the Anghel Liit Foundation, so that'll be really exciting. Plus, Sige is hooked til March at Corik's. I might celebrate my birthday there! Who knows?! But I don't wanna worry about that yet. There's more to come.

So what's this guilt I'm feeling? Is what I'm doing wrong, since it's against my parents' wishes? And when will my dad drop that frikkin law thing?! It's just sooo frustrating. I haven't been in a good mood for a whole week because of them. Hayy!!!

BAD VIBES OUT!!!

Let's go back to this:

People I'm Grateful For: (Since it's been weeks, okay..there has to be more than 5 and I changed it to PEOPLE!)

1. "The Psychotic Duo" aka my parents - of course.

2. Ate Erin - for just being her kulotsky self

3. Kuya Nono aka Sharkee who celebrated his 22nd - almost 21 years of being my brahhhh!

4. Zaza - you better make sure it's over. And yeah..for covering for me.

5. My Relatives (the Rivera Chapter) - my cute cousins and my Tito's and Tita's are the bomb!

6. PTF - Ernie Sarmiento Division - moral support yeahh!!!

7. My Marksoc groupmates: Lyka, Kim, Gelo, Mike, Meos. We RockED!!!

8. Sige Prod: Ted, Jam, Jad... Our tarp rules!!!

9. Mr. Rico J. Puno - for donating a lotta money and for giving Sige Prod the chance

10. Ther and Aga - the self proclaimed "cool" people

11. Madel, Lottie, Jenx, Rina, Patty - mah girls!

12. Sugar, Marben, JM, KC - moral support!

13. JV and Paul - Mockingbird and King of the Jungle support!

14. Jambo, Joven, Cez, Paul - Joke textmates. (Those jokes really brighten up my day)

15. Liz Phair - I can't get enough of "Why Can't I."

16. James Blunt - Also can't get enough of "High" and "You're Beautiful."

uhhh....so far un na.

Sick sick sick!!!

Hayy Ikay!!! It's been what..4 years? There's NOTHING between us. I'm a hundred and ninety percent sure. So don't even think about it. Haha. I may be desperate..but nahhh!!!


Changes in the weather as usual has made me sick. I hate it. I hate it when I'm sick. My voice sounds funny since my nose is clogged and I've a sore throat. This sucks...

And I just need to get something out of my chest. Saturday night at Corik's...my asshole of a blockmate once again made an ass out of himself. Drinking til he's drunk..I don't even think he was..but he was acting like he was. Not one of my guy blockmates have ever held me in my waste, whispered something in my ear that they were sooo frikkin close. NEVER. I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it since it was such a great night...but inside, I wanted to smack the hell out of him. We're not even FRIENDS. I don't talk to him or even plan on talking to him...except that night. If he comes up and talk to me..I'm just gonna tell him straight I don't want anything to do with him. URGH!!!

Now that's out..what's up with me, other than I'm sick and I've been deprived of sleep? Oooohhh gawwdd... Got about 4 different papers to do in the span of 2 weeks or less. Am I feeling the stress? Nope. Not yet. I'm soo excited for Christmas actually. Charlotte and I were making our Christmas wish list during our Markpro. We have plans lined up as well: going to the spa, having a facial, haircut, shopping.. See..now that's all fun and exciting. The thing is my credit cards are gonna be confiscated soon (even though I use it only for gas) and my allowance seems to have decreased... I dunno how on earth we're gonna do that..but if there's a will, there's a way. I hope Santa grants my last wish though..

Parents Revolt!!!

Maybe I've watched too much of The OC and I wish my parents would be like Sandy and Kirsten. Actually, that's how I wanna be when I become a parent. I'll give my kids the the freedom to do their own decisions as they find their identity, but I'll play jedi mind tricks on them, and still guide them to the right path of course. I won't tell them and dictate what to do with their lives. Going out with friends won't be treated as if it's a bad thing.

"Puro ka na lang good time."

What's up with this? Is having too much "good time" bad??? They're telling me I ask too much money. Most of the time, they forget to give me allowance anyway and it's amazing how I survive!!! I asked money one time when I was supposed to be surfing..and we all know what happened with that. But the point is... I'm in college, a few terms left in fact and I'm out...so why shouldn't I savor this time I have with my friends and maximize it?! It's my choice if I wanna be with my friends all the time. I mean, at least they support me in the things I do. My parents don't support this SIGE Prod thing! They don't even have an idea what we do, don't know where Corik's is! I mean, it's could be really big..and I mean BIG but to them, I'm just having too much "good time." Well at least for once, I'm doing something I'm really psyched about. Seriously, I'd rather be with people who believe in me than those who just criticize how big my legs are.

Appreciation

We don't know how to show appreciation. My mom, being the woman she is..expects something that shouldn't be expected. For my 20 years of existence I know for a fact that my family is not like the families we see on TV where they hug, or even say nice things to each other. We just don't!!! But deep down, we know. My mom just bought a treadmill. She expected ME to be excited about it. I was. Really. I mean, finally!!! I can get back to shape. But given the situation that I've been deprived of sleep for 2 nights, I don't have the energy I usually have when it came this morning. Bastos! That's what Muther called me just because I didn't show my excitement. I mean..what the hell was I supposed to do.. "Yehey!! OMG!!! We have a treadmill!!! SHIT!! That's the shit!" She's making it seem like she bought it just for me..but it's really for all of us. She's been complaining with her tummy...and what I tell her to do is jog. Edi magjogging na sha ngayon!!! I didn't force her to buy an expensive treadmill. And to think this thing means we won't have any Christmas gifts whatsoever. That's it. Sometimes, they're just unbelievable. I know they're making money more than ever, now but they're always depriving us of material things. Not that we ask for something all the time. Actually, we don't anymore because we'll end up feeling guilty, or obliged to do something in return. My dad calles it "discipline." They think they're depriving us only of material things...

Dinner

Sunday, night. We just had dinner and my parents are pissed at us, except for Zaza, of course who did nothing but join all those competitions in her school and cook, that brings tears to my parents' eyes. So anyway, there we were. Us kids, listening to our parents as always, as they tell us how spoiled we are and how useless we are. And they're talking with each other. Once in a while, they'd directly talk to me or Ate Erin or Kuya Nono but most of the time, they're just letting us hear their conversation of how disappointed they are of us, and they can't wait for us to have a family soon so we could experience this sacrifice they're doing. I've heard that one before and I didn't wanna hear it for the rest of the night so I left.

__________________________________

Back to the good stuff... First of all, THANK YOU TO PTF--Ernie Sarmiento Division for going to my fundraising!!! Love you guys. Ya heard lotsa new cool indie bands.. Diana Rising is the shit noh?! Shempre, had to make sure Splitcide played. Haha!!! Basta every Saturday meron dun. Join our yahoogroups: sige_prod@yahoogroups.com.

Thursday was Papa's birthday. Everyone was there of course. Before going there, I had school so I came from school. Got to try Wari. Haha. That was fun. If only I have that now, I won't be bummed with my folks so much.

Friday was a spontaneous combustion for me. Aga and I talked about watching Harry Potter, but didn't really took it seriously. So went straight home at 7pm. I was the only one here and had nothing to do so I asked him if we were still watching a movie, still didn't really think we would. I sat in front of the computer, tried to figure out the stickers for the compilation CD..didn't work. Then he YM'd me. We were not in the mood for movie. He suggested that we just chill. Which was a good idea. The driver had to pick up Zaza at 1130 in Makati, so I asked her if she could stay later..she said 1230. I said Makati, but he said GH. Fine with me..just wanted to go out Got there at 1030. Alam nameng mabibitin kame. But took advantage of the time anyway. Drank til we're good. Then he told me he's gonna bring me home since bitin if uuwi agad. Met up the driver at 1245..told him to pick Zaza up. My parents got to the house before Zaza did (they came from Laguna). Bisto ako. My beloved sister covered for me, but they were still mad.

Well..that bonding time with my friend was fun. Haven't spent time with him like that in a long time. We've been planning that since I dunno, so it was good. We got lost, as always..but had a great time. I was scared to see my parents mad but Aga was ready to bail me out..if that was possible. Thank God, when we got here, they were asleep. Whew! Talked for about an hour and he went home. Got to sleep at 330am.

Personally, I don't see what's wrong with staying up late because of that. Well, maybe I should've told them..but the thing is it wasn't planned, and that's the fun part. Heh! I dunno anymore.

It's Time.

Just attended a motivation seminar by EJ McNight this afternoon. One of the best seminars i've ever attended. Here are my insights..

First of all...if you're gonna dream of something, dream something big. There's no use of you dreaming if it's not. It's fun to dream..but it's difficult to attain it. One step at a time. It's not an overnight thing. It takes a lot of time and patience. Try and try until you succeed. I mean, that's soo cliche but it's true. Imagine if Edison got tired of trying to light a frikking bulb? It was that last try that he did it. Dreams are made to be achieved and not to be forgotten because our dreams define who we are. And if we keep our dreams behind us, bury it...a part of us dies. There are millions of people who buried their dreams and thus the 'dream world' that would have been died as well.

Secondly, the world has taught us so many lies. It is full of deceptions. When we were younger, we wanted to be astronauts and as people grew older, we become more "realistic" but that's bull. Reality is that as we grow older, the closer we get to attaining our dreams, but the world has told us so much lies like, "you're not capable because you're in a 3rd world country" or "you're not smart enough." The bad thing about this is that the lies the world is telling us are negative stuff. It'd be a lot better if the lies would at least make us feel good about ourselves.

Lastly, not everything we dream of would turn out the way we thought it would be. There would be a few detours..but if we think it would happen, and we believe in ourselves and if we are passionate enough, we will make it happen. Good things don't happen to good people. Good things happen because people make it happen. And I know you can make it happen.

Here's a really cute thing he shared. An autobiography of a man in 5 chapters. There might be some changes..cos I don't remember it exactly..hehe..

Chapter 1: I was walking down the street. Saw a hole and fell into it. I tried and struggled, couldn't get out.
Chapter 2: I was walking down the street. Saw a hole and fell into it. I tried and struggled, got out after a few hours.
Chapter 3: I was walking down the street. Saw a hole and fell into it. I tried and was able to get out.
Chapter 4: I was walking down the street. Saw a hole and walked around it. It's not my fault that hole is there.
Chapter 5: I was walking down a new path.

Sometimes, we just need to realize that we're taking the wrong path to get to our dreams. Stupidity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result.
Then I realized something. For years, I believed the lies the world has been telling me. It's time to bring those dreams out and show the world who I really am. It's time to start living.

November!

It's so nice to be happy! Got to spend time with my family in CDO-Camiguin for the first long weekend. Then met up with the crazy PTF on my Mom's birthday, and then for the second long weekend, got to spend it with Toni, Jet, Ida and Marga. Hayy..I love it.

It's been quite a while since my last post. Updates?

I postponed my event. I didn't want to have a fundraising that won't raise funds! But that's all good. It'll be around January or February next term... For the mean time, I have another fund raiser for my Social Marketing subject and it's an event in Corik's. A lot of bands will be playing and I proposed a compilation CD just for that...and I'm psyched. Y'all go to Corik's on the 19th and support our cause. It's for Pampanga Corps. They support that scholars in Pampanga by giving the students their yearly allowance and one of their goals now is to buy a printer. To print a black and white paper is P10/page. Dang! Imagine if you have a 15-page report?! So please go.

Christmas is coming to town. The air's getting a little bit cooler and I'm sorta loving it. Something's good will happen... I dunno what it is..but it will.