Not Enough...

I was supposed to have an OBE this morning but I kept tossing and turning.. My soul went in and out of my body thrice. I was calming myself so I could explore but I had a test to worry about..so I ended up not doing it. Or maybe I'm still scared.. If anyone's reading this..you'll probably think it weird. Damn.. "my soul went in and out of my body"...HUWATTT?!?!

I love psychology tests. They're gonna give you this situation and they'll ask you what would you do if.. I think it's really cool and somewhat accurate. BUT DAMN!! With the test I took, the results were:

1. I have problems now and "may mga peste sa buhay mo", as my psychology friend told me.
2. I am not a worrier.
3. I avoid my problems.
4. I am open to relationships.
5. I see myself as an old lady. (HUWAT?!)
6. I see my significant other as disposable.
7. I see my significant other as disposable. (AGAIN..)
8. I hold grudges.
9. I see sex as something dirty.
10. Life after death would be a happy place.

Hhhhhhmmmm...accuracy. As for problems, they're not major problems. Like I said, I may only be experiencing crisis..or I'm just moody. I'm pretty happy now. As for the pests in my life...hhmm.. I dunno. 2 I think is accurate. 3, well maybe I do avoid my problems. And yes, I'm open to relationships. I see myself as an old lady. Crap. What is this? Maybe..because of this crisis? (And Zaza's reaction to this was.. "OMG Ate Edel!!" Of course, she's thinking I'll end up as an old maid). As for my significant other..hmmm..there's no significant other so I dunno if this is true. Yes. I hold grudges. About sex..man. I always thought sex is a wonderful thing. I still do, actually..so I guess..this one's wrong. Life after death..I do believe in that and I think that no matter what happens, life after death will definitely be better than this life.
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Old maid. Jeez. First of all, I'm 20. Gawwddd. I have my whole life ahead of me man. I can't believe people are starting to think I'll be an old maid. This is just pathetic. Criminy.
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"I am beautiful no matter what they say..words can't bring me down!"

Oh-my-ged. Do I even have to start singing this song? Nope. Actually..I've heard from my friend that I'm doing okay with this one. Out of the blue, she told me that her friends were just talking about me and bleh bleh. This will never get into my head. It's funny because she texted me and told that to me when I was being melodramatic and shit. It cheered me up a little then I forgot about it..then obviously now, I remembered it. Sometimes, hearing compliments ain't enough.

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I have scars on my face. Had my warts removed so I have all these "beauty marks" as George calls it. But my frikking hands just wanna peel them..and they did. Bad bad. Now there aren't a lot. It's an interesting experience though. I had the beauty marks since Friday and I've gone to the mall. From afar, everything's just normal but when people get near me, they give me that oohh-what-happened-to-your-frikking-face look. It's funny. Hehe.. But since I peeled it off minutes ago...they're sort of gone..but I think I have to be prepared for the worst. Oh no.

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Abby's got a boyfriend. Yey! I'm happy for her. I knew she and Gaston would be together sooner or later. Hehe. Have to have a bonding session with Gaston though.. like the one we had with Jet. Haha! And the countdown continues. Gawwdd.. Why did we even have that frikking countdown. It's down to me, Marga, Karla and Ida. Well, I thought Ida was going before Abby..but life plays tricks on you. But Ida..I'll give her until April...hhhmmm.. haha! then Karla.. As for Marga and I..we're going for the record. We'll be spending another Valentine's as each other's valentine. Haha.

Ohh crap. Yeah. Remember Valentine's? Gawwdd... Ate Merlyn and her frikking mouth "O.. Edel, kaw lang walang flowers?! Hayyy... Ahihihihi!" I wanted to crush her. I could literally do that though. But of course I had to give her my sarcastic smile. Guess that was my karma. What goes around comes around...

OBE

Nothing seems to be cheering me up. My cousins were just here and I was supposed to go to EK with them. They had free tickets but I didn't feel like going. I just don't feel like doing anything.

I want to stop time. I don't wanna turn 20 yet. Not yet. Maybe I'm not ready yet. What do they call this in Psychology? Am I experiencing a crisis? Damn.
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It's fucking weird but I'm scared of sleeping sometimes. These out of body experiences are making me nuts. Whenever I close my eyes to sleep, I feel it. It's like my soul peels off itself from my body and I hear this long peep sound. Then I'll feel paralyzed. It's really scaring me. But I'm doing research right now about it. Apparently, a lot of people OBE. They think that being able to do this is a special gift. And once a person has mastered how to do this, one will be able to Astral travel...go to different places or even visit friends in their dreams. Really cool. Paralysis is normal because of the separation of the soul from the body. Come to think of it...since we spend 1/3 our lives sleeping, with OBE's, we can do so much. I'm beginning to consider this. I mean, since I've done it once consciously, I could try doing it again. Maybe later. Then I'll visit you in your dreams. Haha. Of course, you'll never remember the things I'll be saying, but you'll just remember that I was in your dream. I'm getting excited. Now, I'm talking too soon. I may not be able to do this, but I guess I'll try...

Last night, I dreamed of the tsunami hitting Puerto Galera. My golay. I was there and I felt myself in the water and hitting a wall hard. I swear, I felt them. Then I remember seeing myself in my bed, coughing the water out. Gawwdd...it's really weird.

Cursed!!!

I feel like I'm cursed. I mean..I'm supposed to be lucky this year!!! All that seems to be happening to me is pure bad luck.

I'm so down and I'm hating it. It's ticking me off because it seems that I can't control anything that's happening!!! The thing is..nothing's happening and I'm just not myself. Sure, I put on a happy face but I'm just not feeling it inside. That's it..I feel empty.

I'm not celebrating my 20th birthday. NO NO NO! No party, no session, no nothing. Unless something amazing happens, I'll never celebrate my 20th birthday. It'll be another normal day. So please please! Just gimme a Razr3! I dunno if that would make me really happy..but at least I'll get something I really want...

Get me out!!!

Fuck. I need to get the fuck out of this forsaken place. Damn it. Maybe I'm hating my friends or God's messing with me.. I mean..everytime we plan of going out of town, things come up that forces people not to go. My high school friends wanna come but fucking school gets in the way all the time...or parents. Damn it..we're what..20? And parents still don't trust their kids.. My college friends don't wanna because they don't have fucking money or they're not into beach or whatever or..gawwddd.. I dunno what else.

I need a fucking break. I could have a break...yeahh...fucking alone.. I'm literally becoming miserable! FUCK!!! I wish I wish... gawwddd.. I'm wishing for a lot of things right now.

Crazy over Imago...

I find it really weird that sometimes I do things I don't understand. Maybe I felt like doing it at that time but when I think about it after, I have no idea why I did it. I'm not embarrassed, I just find it funny..

I just came home from school because it's College of Liberal Arts Day and there was a concert. Lotsa cool bands: Cambio, 6 Cycle Mind, Splitcide (whoever knows this band...grabeh I heard them for the first time and I LOVVEEEE THEM!), Sandwich, Mayonnaise, Imago (oohh..Aia's voice is just the best..idol pare!), Sugarfree and Urbandub. I was just waiting for Imago but I'm happy to have been acquainted with the other bands, especially SPLITCIDE. They're LSGH graduates..I think they're about my age.

Jam and I watched it together. We're there basically to watch Imago perform. Now I'm not a big fan. Gawwddd... I only know about 4 songs but I really think that Aia's voice is amazing. (I didn't know her name was til about 20 minutes ago. Haha!) I've been planning to buy their CD for months and while waiting for them on stage, I bought me self a copy... That's how I knew their names. Hehe.. Basta I knew that the vocalist is a girl, then Sandwich's bassist is also their bassist and their drummer is Kokoy's health consultant. Well anyway...they're the 3rd to the last band who performed and when they were preparing their stuff on stage, I was really excited. I mean..FINALLY! First song was Pheonix, then Akap, then Taning (FYI, I know these songs, but I just found out the titles for these songs thanks to their CD I'm playing this instant). Those songs could bring me straight to cloud 9...it's just...wow! And their last song, as always, was Anino. Aia asked everyone to stand up and dance with her. I mean..what the heck..I waited for them all night!!! Jam, of course didn't and the other people there didn't. So I was right there in the middle dancing..but I something came over me and I decided to go in front with the other people who were willing to stand up and enjoy the last song. I knew the song..the beat and the melody. As for the lyrics..I knew.. "Isa..dalawa..tatlo..." Haha.. So I was there, when I saw my fellow Theresian, and she wanted me to go up the stage. WHY NOT CHOCNUT!!! Haha..the next thing I knew, I was in the frikking stage, dancing..well it's not really dancing..I dunno.. with this other girl. Now, I'm not humiliated...I'm not embarrassed... I just find it weird.. Haha! Thank goodness I looked good today. Haha! Ohh yeah...vanity! And if I'm not mistaken...Raymond Marasigan was checking me out. Haha.. Kidding! I wish man. It was too bad Splitcide wasn't there anymore. Man..that vocalist turned me on!! Oooohhhh lala!

So after Imago, we decided to leave. But I can't just leave without having Imago sign my CD..I mean..they're right there. So as I was walking to the backstage..I saw Zach.

"Omg, Zach..can you autograph my CD?"

Gawwddd... I don't even know if "can u autograph my CD" is grammatically correct..and with my "OMG"..I sounded like a frikking airhead. Haha..but that's me..what can I do.

"Edel."

He writes me name then draws a patch in his eyes in the picture..

And I told him that

"my cousin follows you water therapy thing"

..why did I have to add "thing?!" Criminy..

"Effective noh?"

"Yep..Sige thanks. The best ang Imago."

Then I looked for that girl...whose name I thought was Irene..damn it. She wasn't there..then I saw the guy who played the guitars.. I had no idea what his name was. All I knew was he plays the guitar for Imago. Haha.. I tried looking for their hot vocalista but she ain't there. Oh well...

Then as I waited in Mcdo for Zaza..I checked out the CD and heller..it's not Irene..it's Myrene...and the hot chick wasn't her..it was Aia. Hahahahahahahaha!!! Criminy... I'm such an ignorant bitch.

Someone gimme SPLITCIDE!!!

Happy Thoughts...

Woopee. Aside from my birthday, I was looking forward to Valentine's. Yeah rigghttt. Thank goodness I had 2 tests today. Well..supposedly there were 2, but my Finama test was cancelled. The only occassion I'm grateful to have tests...

The good thing is, most of my college friends are unattached so we're all pretty miserable today. I'm just happy I'm not the only one who spent this day in misery. I'm not miserable, really. Steady lang. But after spending 20 frikking Valentine's Day of my life the same way since I was born...hhhmmm...not a good sign. The good news is, the day is almost over..30 minutes to go and things will be back to normal.

Another good news: Motorola Razr V3 is being sold today 8k cheaper!!! That's some good news. The bad news is I still cannot afford it and I'm thinking how I'm gonna convince my parents to buy me the phone. (I'm such a brat, I know!)

1. It's 8k cheaper!!! That'll only last til February 28!
2. It's my birthday and that's what I want...I don't have a car, I don't have a laptop, I don't even have my own room..it's been years since I had something I wanted for my birthday.
3. I'm beginning to have my 3rd child syndrome again. (This is a good one!)
4. I'm lonely. I don't have a boyfriend..I'm the only one in this house who doesn't have ANYTHING! (Wahhh!!!)

I think that's about it. I should use my persuasion skills, eh? But then again, we'll never know when my sister will ruin it for me. What's up with that?! Like for example, Friday, when Ate Erin's friends were here. I was drunk and Jan-frikking Sanchez threw me in the pool. As far as I know, she was already upstairs, asleep. But when I emerged from the water, she was there. I was having a good time and I was laughing my ass off when she said right to my face.. "WAHAHAHA! MUKHA KA NANG TANGA!" with her finger pointing at me. Jeez. I was clearly aware that I was wasted, and obviously everyone else there too, knew that. She didn't have to say it. She just...ruined the moment.

*Happy thoughts...happy thoughts...

Saturday, a day being the third wheel once again. But I didn't care. I wanted to go to Market Market. At least I had free pizza. We were all hung over. Jan was just weird. He just ate...all day. Then it was Sab's birthday party. I got there early. Wasn't supposed to be, but Jan and Ate Erin all of a sudden had a LQ in the car. We were supposed to go to Greenhills. Criminy. I dunno why they fight over little things. It's really just pathetic. Can't either one of them just let it slide? But that's just me, and what do I know about these things. We got lost and then Ate Erin were making side comments..and the next thing I know, I was in an awkward position. So I decided to just sing whatever's playing on the radio.

Made the entrance of my lifetime in Sab's party. Thank goodness only 2 guys were there to see it. I was sleepy. I was stretching on the way there and then I saw these 2 boys. They were looking at me, so I smiled at them. The weird thing is they were just staring at me. Gawwdd. So okay...fine let them stare. Whatever. Then *toink*. I had to slip. Frikking slip in front of those 2 Atenista's whom I don't even know. I had to grab on to the post, that's how bad it was. And they continued to stare. No smile, no anything. All I could say was "O entrance diba?" Haha. It was embarrassing, but I find it hilarious. Had to catch up with everyone. And I was soo happy to have bonded with Therine once again. I haven't had that kind of talk with her for years. I was just delighted to spend time with her.

Ida and Tuts. I can't believe she thinks he's ugly. Haha! Typical of us. But he's a funny guy. He's kind and he's a surfer dude. Ohhh yeah! He's a nice guy and that's what counts. So I'm really happy for her.

Hhmmm...my birthday's coming up but I'm just wishing for that Motorola Razr V3!!! I'm also excited about going to Puerto Galera. Now here I go again... Tal and I wanna go ther on Feb 25-27, and we're inviting all the girls. The thing is, I've already asked everyone weeks ago, to reserve that date in case I'll do something for my birthday because I want to go to the beach with them. But now, I told Ida about it and she wants me to move the frikking date because she's going surfing with Tuts. Argh. She forgot?! I'm disappointed.

I love them and all but sometimes it's really frustrating. Everytime I ask them if they want to go surfing or wakeboarding, they're all excited but then at the last minute, they'll cancel. I know, sometimes it's really not their fault they had to cancel. But then I hear them talk about when they went to Hundred Islands or Galera with their blockmates, or they went to this party or whatever. I'm not feeling jealousy.. I mean, it's cool they're having a good time. But when I want US to have a good time, it seems like it's not important? I dunno.

Or maybe I'm feeling that sense of singularity where I want to do something that they're just not into. I feel like I'm stuck with boring people...even my blockmates... I want to try so many things..things that I should be doing with my friends like wakeboarding..but they're not up for it. Even if Abby says she wants to go, there's always something that prevents her from doing it, which in return stops me from doing it too. I mean, if there's a will, there has to be a frikking way.

Or!!! Maybe I'm the one who is boring... I keep thinking that I should be doing all the things I want to do with these people... I've caused myself to be stuck with these people. NOOO....

*Happy thoughts...happy thoughts...*

I Want A Coin Operated Boy

Damn it. I had my cheeseburger meal again. I can't get it out of my system. Now I feel like all the exercise I'm doing is just frikking useless. I really am a walking contradiction. Haayyy nako.

Speaking of contradicting myself, I spoke too soon, once again. I can't help it! I know, I've said a million times I don't have a crush him anymore but when I saw him this morning he looked so fresh. (Haha.. I dunno why sometimes I don't like him, sometimes I do. He has his days and today is one of those days!) And then we were flirting. Gawwddd.. I dunno if you'd call that flirting. Well, maybe I just missed him. We haven't talked for so long. He still owes me fries, but I told him I wanted tikoy and he said he'll give me that instead. (Hmmm..tikoy!!! I love tikoy!)

"Edel, you should go out.." inspirational words from Aga. According to him, that's how I'd meet boys. Jeez. I go out a lot, but I don't go out to meet boys. I go out to have a good time and meet friends: girls and boys, not to meet potential boyfriends. Besides the boys I meet in parties don't have potentials...seriously. Now, there's this Ateneo-La Salle party this Friday and Cez invited me to come. I want to go, but Ate Erin asked me to invite my friends for inuman session here. I already made up my mind that I'll just invite my friends over since I could get wasted and I miss my girlfriends terribly. But when I texted Cez, she said he's going. Now I'm confused. Haha. Oohh the confusion!

Coin operated boy. I want a coin operated boy! Imagine how nice that'd be...automatic joy. This is my Valentine's Day song. If someone would want to serenade me...sing me this song. Better yet, just give me a coin-operated boy so all my misery and bitterness would go away. Hahahaha! Gawwwddd... I'm getting in the Valentine's mood..is this good or bad? I really don't wanna think about it yet. Crap. Abby, Ida and Kathy are wishing that their "boys" will ask them out on that day.. So that leaves me and Marga and Karla..well I never see Karla..damn..maybe Marga has a boy too. Oh no..this is bad. Maybe I'll just sleep it off...

Let me Sleep!!!

PINK TABLE FEDERATION. We're crazy, we're cool and we're beautiful people with beautiful minds. We're so different with one another yet anyone who sees us together will know we're related. As expected, a night with the PTF was a blast. Sure, they made fun of my blog...but c'mon..what's up with all that "magpasalamat ka..." (Kidding..we all have our unique writing styles..mine is just..DETAILED and my thoughts are just SLIGHTLY DISORGANIZED. Hahahaha!)

Gawwddd.. for 3 days now, I've been sleepy. I dunno if it's because I exercise every morning or something else but when I try to sleep, I can't!!! What's up with that?! Argh...

I wanna watch AVLE again. maybe it'll give me hope that I could find love. Eewwww.. I can't believe I said that. Urgh. Well, I'll be spending my Valentine's Day alone again, like the past 20 years of my life. Maybe while everyone else is on their romantic dates, I'll be here at home, probably updating my blog or drowning myself with romantic movies. How pathetic is that?! Not so much, maybe since majority of the people I know could be doing the same thing. (Ahem ahem!)

Aga and I had the talk I usually have with Jam. There were a lot of stuff there that I think he shouldn't have told me but..gawwwddd...maybe they really think I'm a frikking guy! Aside from grossing me out, he basically said he was miserable (but he didn't want to join our Miserable Singles Club with only 2 members: Me and Jam..how miserable is that?!). And like Kokoy, he just misses having a girlfriend. Riigggghhhhhtttt my interpretation: he's one horny bastard..well..both of them. Hahahaha!!!

Speaking of girlfriends..I miss the goddesses!!! I'm thirsting for some girl bonding. I've had enough of boys, I think. I want my girlfriends. It's just not the same. I miss Abby. I miss Ida. I miss Karla. I miss Kathy. I miss Marga. I miss Therine. I miss Toni. This sucks. I live so far away. But worse, we have different schedules and it's difficult to have get togethers. WAHHH... I hope we can all get drunk on Friday...

Hmm..speaking of getting drunk..I'm calling out The Adult PTF Members..we have to get drunk some time!!! C'mon people!!! Just imagine how fruitful our discussions are going to be!!!

Finally...A Very Long Engagement

Oh yes. Finally. The wait is over and must I say, it's really worth it. (I'm a little disappointed however my date with Ikay didn't push through. Instead, I had a night out with the boys..or 2 boys..whatever). I love everything the film. The fact that it was subtitled from beginning to finish...hayy...French is truly a wonderful language. The story is so serious and heavy but there's always a little bit of humor in the script which was simply amazing. The French of course, didn't fail to show off the beauty of their country. Mathilde brought me with her in her long journey. So now.. I really wanna go to France. Hehe... If there's one thing I learned from the movie, that's HOPE. And... doggie farts are blessings because they gladden/brighten one's heart.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE...

That seemed to be the theme of my whole day yesterday. I spent about 5 hours on the road. Gawwwddd. 2 hours going to school, another 2 hours going to Eastwood and an hour going home. Worse, I felt sleepy the whole day. It's weird actually. I had enough sleep the night before. But I can never fall asleep watching the movie. I told myself that a hundred times. Hehe. I'd kill myself if I did. It was almost a useless day, if I hadn't gone to watch the movie...

We left Alabang at 1:30pm for the 2:30pm class. We didn't take the Skyway because it's never traffic. (Skyway costs too much already..P115 one way!). But for a few days now, it has been traffic because of the construction going on. But it was 1:30pm. Who could possibly be on the road during that time. But what a big mistake that was. We tried to avoid the traffic via C5 and Makati. But it was traffic everywhere! Even in Estrada for crying out loud. I got to school at 3:20pm just in time for me to submit my assignment to my Quatech teacher. Good thing I could attend my Finama class. But I was just so sleepy. I was pretending to understand the lesson for one whole hour. Argh... Then dimissal. Yes!

4:40pm, met up with Aga then headed straight to the parking lot. I was frikking sleepy. Thank god he wanted to smoke. I could sleep for a little while. Well I tried to but I can't. It was so weird. It's like I have insomnia or something. Then by 5pm we left Taft. And traffic, yet again. I told him I dunno the way to Eastwood from La Salle, so I'll be useless as a navigator (I'm always a bad navigator. Hehe...from experience with Kuya Nono..haha..I really have no sense of direction whatsoever), so I'll just sleep. Of course, he didn't want me to sleep and that he never lets anyone sleep in the front seat. Argh.. Fine I'll sleep in the back. Of course, he didn't let me. DUH. So there we were. Stuck in traffic, trying to entertain ourselves with his 18 track CD compilation. Criminy he never finishes a song. So after, we decided to just listen to the radio..tough luck..nothing good was playing. We've made fun of the people passing by, I've tried winking at this toothless guy (but I chickened out), he tried to pick up some girls...and by 5:45pm, we have just crossed Quirino Avenue. It was that bad. Then I tried to sleep again. He wouldn't let me damn it. I close my eyes for 30 seconds and he starts to talk. What am I to do?! I tried ignoring him so eventually he lets me sleep. ALAS, I told myself. But I couldn't sleep. It was just bizarre.

6:30pm. Kokoy calls me up and tells me he's on his way. We were only San Juan. 6:45pm, he texts me and tells me he's there already. HUWAT?! He's early, really. I told him 7pm. 7pm, we were in Greenhills. Aga is to meet his "client". Haha. He's selling bags, by the way (Check out www.picturetrail.com/katips), Avon products, flexi patches and God knows what else. He's never met that person before and he's nervous. Haha! It was a funny situation. He was nervous because he's not sure if he can sell the bag. It's not the best bag in the world and it doesn't look like P880. Haha. I wanted to just laugh right there, but it's sort of a big deal, his first client and all, so being a good friend that I am, I gave him a few advice and that typical "kaya mo yan" and when with him to meet the girl. Haha. It was so obvious he was nervous and he knows nothing about the product. And what do you know, he did it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It was just hilarious.

7:10pm, Emilky boy has been texting me, asking me where we were. We just left Greenhills and Aga's just screaming his lungs out, celebrating his first sale. I'm his good omen, what can I say?! No, really I am. Haha! Despite all that traffic..I am. Thankfully, the traffic there wasn't as heavy. We got to Eastwood by 7:40pm. Met Emilky boy. I was very happy to see my cousin, of course. He's one cool soul. So what's up with Kokoy? Hmm... a lot I guess. He seems happy and good for him. His energy is high and smile's on his face. The movie was at 8:20pm, so we had about 40 mins to eat. I'm saving, so fastfood. I had my beloved cheeseburger. Yes. I felt so bad for letting my cousin wait for so long I had to spend additional P60 for his Twister Fries and McFloat. Not a dull moment with Kokoy, as always. It's nice to know he has been influenced by a very...well.. influencial person in the radio, Zach. Haha. I had to stop myself from laughing hard. (For Ikay, hhmm.. don't let your friends sleep in Kokoy's room again..he's working out for goodness' sake!).

8pm, we were on our way to the cinemas when I heard a familiar voice call my name. Toni and Abby were there!!! I was so happy to see them, but we were almost late for the movie. Awww! Then I realized, I miss those bitches. I wanna see them really soon. Hayyy..

11pm, the movie ended. Kokoy wanted a drink. We were cheap people so we had to go to the nearby supermarket. Walked a mile just to find out it was closed. Criminy. We ended up buying P55 beers. I'm glad they both liked the movie. Aga almost didn't want to watch it because it's a frikking chick flick. Oh puh-lease..it was not the typical chick flick. He was just complaining that we had to watch it before Valentine's. Drama pucha. Then from Kokoy's acting career to his kissing games, they both started to talk about their love lives. "Ohhh get over Aedz", I told him. He said he was, so I'll take his word for it. Then all of a sudden, it was just them talking...about love. Wow, that was new. I mean, usually boy talks are about cars, porn, music or girls. So it was interesting to listen to them. But then I had to go. Had to leave them there and continue with their heart to heart. Haha. They probably didn't even say goodbye to me! Their talk was just intense. Gawwdd. Where did that come from? I'm thinking..the movie's just THAT good.

And the issue with me and Aga goes on. I don't even know why I have to defend myself. There's nothing to it. Maybe Kokoy can answer that. Hah! Finally, someone who can attest that I'm telling the truth when I say we're just friends. I treat Aga the way I treat Kokoy. There you go. Clarity.