My take on alcohol and drugs

My take on alcohol and drugs
I'm a bad drunk. Really...based from experience, I turned into this conio shit who talks non-stop about a boy named Joboy, I sing Kelly Clarkson songs all night or I turn into a disturbed depressed girl who texts people about nothing important. But I really like getting drunk. Not that I'm an alcoholic or anything. It's just interesting how people get less inhibited. The "inner monster" gets unleased, I guess. But maybe it really depends on the person. Your emotions that moment gets heightened. So if you're lonely who needs someone to talk to, you'll turn into that. But instead of your usual self, who contains all the emotions inside, you don't. And if you're in a super bubbly mood, you multiply that emotion times 5 and turn into a super friendly person.

I'm not drunk now. I'm just tipsy. For some reason, my resistance to alcohol is very inconsistent. Tonight, I just drank 2 San Mig Light and a shot of Rum and I'm already tipsy. It's my first time to actually write in my blog in a condition like this. I've been feeling "emo" today so I am listening to my top 3 Hale songs: Kung Wala Ka, Underneath the Waves and Waltz, and Aqualung. Maybe I'm in that "I want a boyfriend" state, that's why I'm listening to these songs. Oh! I love Jimmy Eatworld's "May the Angels Bring You In." I'll play that.. hold on.

There...it's such a nice feeling to be drunk listening to mellow songs. Unlike when you're on a drug like E, you'd wanna hear house songs to satisfy your dancing needs. I'm not an addict, either. It's just something I have tried a few times. I mean, I'm only young once, and I guess I just wanted to try it. I have been "giyang" or "gigil to take it" but it's something I'd rather not do. For the couple of times I did, I must admit, the feeling is just pure ecstasy. I've never felt anything like that so good. But then again, it's something fatal, so I'd just stick to alcohol.

And then there's a thing called wari. This, I forgot to buy in Hong Kong..but maybe it's a good thing. I don't wanna lose all my brain cells. I mean, I need those cells to succeed. Haha. Wari is a short time thing. Short..really. It's just 30 seconds, max. Inhale it and then you'll laugh like hell. 30 seconds later..or less...it's over.

Of course, there's the "shrooms" which made me closer to the moon...then got me depressed for my birthday..I think. Really bad. Hah!

Am I over those things? Yes. I haven't tried weed though..weird.

Boom Tarat Tarat Boom Tarat Tarat.. Taratat Taratat Boom Boom Boom

"Boom Tarat Tarat Boom Tarat Tarat.. Taratat Taratat Boom Boom Boom!!!"

I never knew what that chant was until 2 days ago. I finally watched Wowowie and saw why my friends were laughing about it. It is hilarious. Desperate, toothless and penniless people in the audience of the show would do their best dance of the Boom Tarat and hopefully Willie will pick them to be the "BIGATIN." I finished the Boom Tarat segment and before the Bigatin part, I switched the channel. I couldn't take it. It is noisy, it is pathetic and it reflects the sad reality here in the Philippines.

I just came from Hong Kong, a first world country where all the malls contain the big brands: Fendi, Valentino, Chanel, Burberry and more. I was there 8 years ago and that time, the Philippines weren't that far off. Kowloon was like Manila but cleaner. Now, everything there is expensive. It is fast paced, everything works, the toilets are clean with tissues and there are liquid soaps in the soap dispensers. Everything is convenient. The subways can get u anywhere you want to go, the pedestrian lanes are so wide to accomodate the thousands of people crossing the street, and everyone follows the traffic rules. I didn't see anyone poor. I'm sure there are poor people, but in Kowloon or in Hong Kong..no one was poor. Not to mention, everyone was fashionable.

When we were there, we walked til our legs hurt, took the train, the ferry, relied on taxicabs to get us where we needed to be. The perks I guess of living a luxurious life in the third world is we have househelp to clean my room, cook me food I want, just like living in a hotel. We have a driver who can take us anywhere we want, any time of the day. So maybe I prefer that walking til my legs hurt than having a driver. Sure..if it means getinng that Wowowie show out of business. I don't want to hear any more sad stories to win the heart of Willie who'll give them instant cash prizes. No more songs or dances of desperation. I'm tired of hearing that shit. It's time people rely on their own two feet and work hard.
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Hah! I guess it's not right for those words to come from me. I'm not a hard worker. Pfffftttttt...

Boom Tarat Tarat
Boom Tarat Tarat
Taratat Taratat Boom Boom Boom!!!

Left Behind

1 . Latest na narealize mo? -
~ you can't have everything u want

2. Dapat gawin pag nalulungkot? -
~ dance when u're alone

3. Motto mo about LOVE? -
~ love is a battlefield?! hahaha! ewan ko.

4.Favorite food? -
~ Guylian chocolates

5. Favorite Place to Be? -
~ beach with my sabog friends

6. Whats the title of the song that's stuck in your
head right now? -
~ Zombie!!!

7. Pangarap mong summer get-away trip? -
~ Egypt to see pyramids or Turkey with the really cool pools.

8. Isang bagay na hinding hindi mo tatanggihan? -
~ libre!

9. Masayang libangan kapag umuulan? -
~ MATULOG!!! or manood ng Grey's Anatomy..

10. Isang bagay na pag-iipunan mo nang husto? -
~ trip to... Milan where i can go shopping!

11. Gagawin mo sa susunod mong birthday? -
~ party siguro..as in magpakasabog

12. Hindi mo makayanan o matagalan? -
~ mga asar na tao

13.Gusto mong panoorin sa sine? -
~ The Guardian..i really wanna watch a super funny or super drama movie..and I heard The Guardian will make me cry.

14. Do you love cooking? -
~ not really..

15.Paano ka ma- badtrip? -
~ depends..like now..para akong lasing kanina...or minsan super quiet..or i throw bitch fits (like i usually do)..or sing Kelly Clarkson songs..

16. Matagal ka ba maligo? -
~ nope!

17.kumakain ka ba ng vegetable? -
~ yes..but baby steps!

18. cute ka ba?
~ not sure..but maybe to some people

19.sino palagi mong kausap sa phone? -
~ I don't talk on the phone...I text..I chat..but if someone wants to talk to me on the phone...sure..why not!

21. Sino ang kasabay mong umuwi? -
~ dang..i'm always at home! haha!

22. Are you a busy person? -
~ now?! I wish! haha..i'm super bored at home!

23.What/who do you hate most!? -
~ I hate it that I can't have what I want! I'm such a brat.

24. What makes you happy? -
~ spending time with my friends and talking to the max about nothing important

25. If given a chance to have one wish,what wud
it
be? -
~ To have what I can't have.

26. why? -
~ Ehhh..paki mo ba?!

27. "in love"? -
~ hah!

28. 10 yrs from now, what wud u be? -
~ i really have no idea!!! this is so bad.

29. Song/s that best express what ur feeling ryt
now? -
~ Behind These Hazel Eyes? Haha!

30. Is there any person that you miss? -
~ yup. my blockmates, my girls

31. What makes you really angry? -
~ when I feel stupid over stupid things.

32. Gusto mong gawin ngaun? -
~ lumabas with Ther

33. Kung may mababalik kang moments sa
buhay mo ano un? -
~ hah! can we not talk about the past?!

If I Just Lay Here

I have been laying here (in the house) for weeks. I have been looking forward to graduation and now that it's over, I dunno what else to look forward to. I was looking forward to my (ours actually..with Zaza) grad party. But my dad all of a sudden offered Hong Kong. I dunno why I chose Hong Kong and agreed so quickly with my Dad's offer. I mean, I've been there before! I have been wanting a grad party for weeks because I've been homesick. Homesick, meaning I'm sick of being at home. I haven't seen my blockmates and my girlfriends (well..I've spent a lot of times with Marga and Ida), my cousins for a long time and I wanted to see them and party with them. It's not so much for the gifts I asked them (haha! I did ask them but it was a joke!) or another party that will for sure get everybody drunk. It was simply for the company and the catching up. I didn't graduate with my blockmates. I'm ahead one term so during the graduation, there were no group pictures with the block. Crap..I hate being sentimental. This is what being a bum makes me do!!!

Shifting and not having my blockmates in every class was a good move. I wanted to expand my horizons and I did. I love the relationships I formed with the Marketing Management people. There was JEMA, then there were my crazy classmates. I must say, that Kuala Lumpur trip 2 years ago had a lot to do with it. Going on a trip together with my classmates really bonded us together. A hotel room, booze and a bunch of people who wanted to have fun one night (2 nights!) I think sealed the deal. It started from there and everything else just fell into place I guess. I dunno where else I'm gonna see those guys, but I do hope to see them again.
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I am a brat. I'm sorry I can't help it. I can't help but want what I want and everyone knows, when I want something, I have to have it! I wanted the trip and the party. But I chose only 1 and it made me feel bad. I still feel bad. It's like I'm 13 again and I wanted the expensive Baby-G watch. I cried my eyes out but I got it eventually. But I grew up and when I wanted the Nine West boots that my parents refused to give me one Christmas, I knew: I can't have it all. I believe, however, if you want something badly enough and work hard enough for it, you can have it. Is it the same for people though?! Can I have someone whom MAYBE I can't have? I hate what-ifs. But I have so much of it. Now that I've graduated...is it too late? So for now, I'll just lay here.

Why can't she help it?!?! Stupid girl!

Someone I know was sleepless last night. During the day, she was texting a guy she liked. As usual, the guy asked her something. He would only text her when he needed to know something. This annoyed her to death but since she liked him a lot, she can't help but answer and help him. To extend their texting sessions, she would joke around and he would respond. This made the girl really happy and she would convince herself that maybe, just maybe the guy liked her.

They actually used to be good friends. They were in a few classes together. Sometimes he would tease her or try to get her attention. They worked in a few projects together, too. She enjoyed being with him. She thought that maybe the guy was like that to all his girl friends. But she also can't help but wonder that maybe he wasn't. It was possible that he really was giving her special attention. Maybe she was dreaming, but she swears she caught him a few times looking at her. She liked him so much that she gave him a Christmas present, and greeted him on his birthdays.

She spent 3 hours tossing and turning in her bed, thinking she might have had an epiphany. For someone who never had the gutts to tell someone her feelings about anything, she suddenly had the urge to tell the guy she liked him. She imagined telling it to him straight, or though a letter she would give to the guy herself.

The next day, she saw the guy and wanted to spend time with him. It didn't matter that he was with his buddies since she was friends with them anyway. She was excited. When they were together, the guy didn't even come near her or tried to strike a conversation...except when he borrowed a pen. Again, he asked for something he needed. He would not even make eye-contact. So this girl felt unwanted and so she left the group and just tried to go on with her day. She was confused. The day before, they had a good conversation through text complete with the jokes and smiley faces. The next day he was cold. "What was that about?" she thought to herself. Her spirit was crushed and was finally convinced he didn't like her the way she did and that telling him her feelings isn't a good idea. (It could be that, but it could also be she's just dying to tell him that but scared of rejection.)
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Am I right in saying this girl is stupid or what?! But then again..that's heartless me.