Afterglow

Hehe..Saw INXS's new video, Afterglow. It's a nice song. And!!! JD Fortune looks soooooo good. Haha..I dunno. I am a Marty fan..but damn..JD's lookin' hot!!!

You Can't Buy Class...

...you grow up with it, so stop trying.

'Nuf said!

Not My Problem!!!

Spent the whole day today downloading and listening to RENT music. I love it. Viva La Vie Boheme!

My sister, who is beside me is watching a documentary about Andy Warhol on her laptop. Pretty intriguing, that artist. I find his work revolutionary, really..even before. But watching this documentary opened my eyes to who he truly is. He found art in everything and now, art is everywhere. I mean, take a look at the Campbell's Soup Can. Now, who would have thought that something as boring as a can, can be soo...extraordinary. Pretty cool. That's marketing right therem don't you think? Making business look beautiful, and in fact to him, business is the highest form of art. O diba?
________________________

A few more weeks, and I'm done. I just can't wait. YEAH!!! Oh criminy, I would pass all of my subjects this term, right?! I HAVE TO!!! I don't even care anymore about my grades. My college life is about to come to an end, and I can't wait. Weird, really because I've no idea what I wanna do after.

I can't believe I'm even talking about what I'll be doing after before everything's done. Got into a pretty messy situation with the thesis group, but what can I do? Life's filled with choices and I can't just pass that one up.

First term, a friend (I dunno if he still considers me a friend after what I did..what I did? Coming up in a bit..), asked me to be his groupmate for thesis. I knew he wasn't really the smartest but I didn't know him that well. Considering he made it to the dean's list for the first term (for the first time, too), I thought..well..he's probably okay. He told me he already have two other people in the group and I've no idea who they were. Second term, I met that other guy and he seems okay, too. The three of us were classmates in one class but I wasn't with them in the group because I was with my original group (the ones I'm classmates since I started Marketing). In the course of the second term, we became really good friends, I guess because we were seatmates in one of our classes. He intro'd me to his friend and although we never really talked a lot, I was friendly to him and he was too, with me. Everything seems okay. I guess, I agreed to be their thesismate then. We acted like we were, he even had this term for our group, "core." It was funny. And I referred to "us" as the core. "Friend" would always ask me for help for our homeworks and since we were "the core," I thought it was my responsibility to help them. And we would be IM-ing every time there is a homework for Markpro. Now that I've analyzed everything, he was totally dependent on me. DAMN IT!!! I mean, he would ask ever so nicely to copy paste my work and he would swear he'll just use it as basis. But now that I'm thinking about it, it was all MY ideas. He didn't really contribute anything. Well, he would entertain me with his jokes. That helped me to stay up all night, I guess. So anyway, at that time, it didn't seem to be a big deal. Then I heard their group report. It wasn't very impressive. I questioned my decision. But I thought, what the hell. Thesis is a million miles away. I let it slide.

Then there was Green Evo. Friend was supposed to be my Assistant Project Head. Yes. He's from JEMA. In JEMA, he wasn't really the most productive. His VP and AVP would always tell me he's useless. But given that he was 'working with me" for Green Evo, I defended his ass, all the time. I told them he works hard (although the org didn't feel his presence). And now that I'm only typing these words, I'm realizing, DAMN IT!!! I did so many things for him!!! So anyway, to cut it short, he was a pain during Green Evo. Sure, he got one sponsor (and to think that's his major job). Not to put him down, but I got almost all of the sponsors, and met with them (I've asked him a million times to meet the sponsors with me but he always had excuses..I didn't fall for them but what can I do, right?). But for the most part during that project, he wasn't there. He would always whine and complain about my decisions, but he didn't suggest anything better. His suggestions would always give additional expenses, which of course I rejected. And! He wanted to get commission from the sponsor he got. Gawdd. Didn't he understand we have a lot of obligations to pay? And! He wanted to get gift certificates from Levi's. I mean, I would have given him the GC..but the JE's (trainees who wanted to be officers for next school year), who were mostly sophomores did more. I didn't really say anything to him then, until it was 3 weeks before the event. Like everyone else, I asked everyone to man the booth during ticket selling. He went, ONCE. When his friend (who modeled for the fashion show) was there. Duh. And at one point, I was alone in the booth and I saw him in the SJ Walk. He didn't see me. He was gonna pass the booth. I was sure he would just pass by it, and won't even say "hi" to me. I pretended to read something and waited. True enough. When I looked up, he already passed the booth and it was obvious that he walked really fast so I won't see him. So how am I suppose to respond to that?! Those little things just annoyed me to death.

I was sooooo mad at him for doing all those little things during Green Evo. Worse, I heard it straight from his girlfriend that he was spreading rumors about me. His girlfriend!!! (We became close because we were room mates in Bangkok, and she had a lot to say about him, too, by the way). And worse, he kept accusing us of talking behind his back. We talked about him, but not behind his back. There's a huge diff. I mean, can I help it if his girlfriend (make that ex) shares her problems with me? And it just so happened I guess, that her problems were about him. For the most time, I agreed her and that I knew what she was talking about because that's how he acts. And at that time, I told her that I was in fact having doubts about the thesis group. I mean, seeing how he works? I just don't think I'll be able to work like that for one whole term, she understood of course.

Is it wrong for me to judge him for his work (if you call it that), in Green Evo? I don't think so. He always reminded me of the things he did and wanted something in return. And everytime I gave him something to do, he'd go "Bobo ako sa ganyan eh..di ko kaya yan." That excuse is genius, don't you think? Omg, excuses. That's his forte. Once, I asked him to come with me to meet a sponsor. He told me that his family had plans that day and that if I asked him earlier in the week, he would be able to go and that if ever it'd finish earlier, he'll catch up. The next dayr, I chatted with him in YM. I asked him what he did the previous day (you know, the day he had a family thing and the meeting). Turned out he played basketball with the boys because the family thing ended super early. Wow!

So anyway, when we came back from Bangkok, that's when gf told me about the rumors. The rumors weren't true, of course but it just offended me that he would do that. Because he felt humiliated when I shouted at him in front of the team? I shouted at everyone in the team. I wasn't just a bitch to him. I was a bitch to everyone. Sheesh. And he didn't understand that because of his humungous ego. So I confronted him and I told him everything that was bugging me. We even had a long YM session about it. I brought up the thesis group. Then he became all of a sudden nice. He said that it was thesis, and he's gonna be different. Urgh. I felt so used actually, by him. And it's pissing me off for letting that happen.

Then this other guy approached me and asked me if I had a thesis group. I asked him why. They were only 2 in the group. I know both of them. I know how they work. They're good. So I told him I'll think about it. So in short, I've given a lot of thought already and I've decided to leave "the core." It hurts me to do it because I've become so close with those guys. Everything in me tells me to leave them. My friends who are groupmates with Friend is also complaining that he's not doing anything and that it would be better for me to leave. I'm groupmates with him and he's not doing anything! In fact, I found out that my other friend is also having his thesis next term and he doesn't have a group. And he's good!! So I asked him to be our groupmate. I thought to myself, if he agrees, then I'll stay. He was hesitant to join our group. And the reason? "Mukha kaseng SOBRANG SIPAG niya eh." And he was referring to Friend. So that was it. There wasn't any reason to stay. I know I gave them my commitment but it would totally be chaos if I stayed.

So what about that other guy? It'll be hard for me to do this because I gave them my commitment, but I know working with them won't get us anywhere and that other girl they said was in the group, is having her thesis now...psycho. So that other guy begged me to stay. But I have to do what I gotta do. If I stay and work with Friend for our thesis, we'll probably end up killing each other. I sent them a YM message saying I'm sorry but I have to leave and I hope they understand. I'll see Friend tomorrow and I dunno what'll happen. But honestly, I don't care anymore. I just feel bad for leaving that other guy. It's not his fault, really. All I can wish them is good luck. For sure, they're hella mad at me. But what can I do? It's not my fault if a better group wants to work with me, is it? It's not my problem if I don't like the way he works (along with most of our batchmates), is it? My only fault is clearly giving them my word... I feel good that I've finally left that other group (although I don't feel good for doing it to them).

Is it a selfish decision? Hell yeah. It's my frikking thesis and I have to think about myself. All my friends told me that. Now, I have my complete thesis group and I just can't wait to start working with them.

Because contrary to their argument that in real life, you'd have to work with people you don't like, people have choices. And this is what I choose. I choose to work with a team that I know will bring out the best (and not the worst, for that matter) in me.

And he calls it backstabbing. He can call it whatever. I've told him not to take it personally but he did and that's why I'm taking it personally, too. Now that I've cleared my head, and I've fully justified my decision, his problems are not my problems anymore. I'm just glad he's not asking me for CONADEV assignments anymore.

Rent!

It's been a gazillion years since I saw a musical. I enjoyed Rent. I liked the songs. I like Rosario Dawson's voice than the original, I must say. The story of course about love and friendship is very touching and inspiring. Faceless people were heard in the songs. It was set in New York more than a decade ago but the issues are still here and maybe still here to stay. Hay nako. I think I've read too much for my economic development subject, plus V for Vendetta is still haunting me. It's depressing. But I like Rent, don't get me wrong. I'm just not in the mood to blog about the issues it tackles.

Seeing it brought me back to the time when I wanted to make movies. Talaga nga naman!!!

But I would really really really like to see it on broadway. Take me to New York now!!! I miss the theater, I guess. There are so many things I wanna see: Wicked, The Lion King, Les Miserables, Cats. Arghh!!!

I think I'll be needing my dose of my artfilms, too.

V for Vendetta

I absolutely love this film. It's been a while since I've watched a film that I really really really enjoyed. Well... I enjoyed Hostel. It was funny, funnier watching it with Dad. But V... wowed me. It's a talking movie. But given that I enjoyed Before Sunset and Before Sunrise, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...I love talking movies. Or at least some of them. But see, these films have a way of getting you interested all the way through. Some movies like Million Dollar Baby gets boring..and I actually fell asleep watching it... twice in fact. V..oh V!!! It was intense, exciting and smart.

"Remember, remember, the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."

V for Vendetta is a drama/action movie. It entertained me from the very start. I love the way Hugo Weaving played V. Even behind the mask you can feel his emotions. The way his head tilts when he feels bashful. The way he moves is so smooth and just plain sexy. Haha!!! NO but seriously, he was compassionate and kind but still very ruthless and all that, I felt that with his mask on. Now, that's a good actor.

Natalie Portman, as always never fails to surprise me. She's one of the most beautiful people I know (I remember keeping her pin-up from BOP just because I found her sooo beautiful), and eventhough her head was shaved in the movie, she still looked phenomenal. She played Evey (I'm gonna name one of my kids that btw), so well from being a terrified girl to finally overcoming her fears and really becoming a woman of strength. I really like the line when V told Evey, "You're never truly free when you are afraid." Or something like that...which is absolutely true.

Maybe the reason I loved the movie so much is because it tackles a relevant socio-political issue. Although it clearly is a work of fiction, the ideas it present are real. Now, if there's just someone who could blow up Malacañang..haha!! That would be great, wouldn't it?

So who should be in Malacañang when that happens?

1. Politicians, of course..all the corrupt ones. Which means..almost all of them. Malacañang is a big place. I'm sure they'd all fit in there. Maybe it's better if their families who benefit from their corruptions should be in there, too. Most of these people would have their families with them, anyway given that mini political dynasties are very common. This is a double whammy. By including these bitches and sons of bitches, we also get drug lords, tax evaders, thieves, the mafias, the novu rich who think they can buy everything (from the people's money, of course) woohoow!! The Philippines would be a much better place without these people.

2. Big businessmen who do not pay their taxes. Hmm..maybe blowing up SM instead is a better idea?

3. Jeep/taxi/bus drivers who do not follow traffic rules. Traffic jams are a pain in the ass, literally, aren't they? This would also minimize people from getting heart attacks.

Okay..maybe including 2-3 in Malacañang would be so cruel already. Besides, it's because of the government people are they are today. Those big businessmen have close links to the government. But don't you think it's just fair that they be included because they've made lots of money in the expense of many Filipinos???

Okay..so maybe let's take out number 3. But when will they ever learn?! I think, never. It's in their system already. Looking at the faces of these drivers, you can see that they've been doing it for years. But that's Juan Dela Cruz right there. In the faces of those drivers..suffered a lot and just doing what they can to survive and in their little ways, they find themselves in control and in their case, in control of the streets. So maybe a change in the government would mean they'd change too.

But I'd like to add one more:

4. Lawyers who shouldn't be lawyers.

If I remember it right, my prof told me that there are more Filipino lawyers than the population of Singapore. That's supposed to be good, right? Not really. Why? Because most of these lawyers didn't really pass the bar. Given that the educational standards have been decreasing since time immemorial, most of these "lawyers" do not know anything about the law. Maybe if we regulate all the REAL lawyers, the number of lawyers we have would only be 20% of what we have now. And what are these "lawyers" doing? God knows what. Probably making money and taking advantage of uneducated Filipinos.

Ohh..and just for fun...I would like to include:

5. Tim Yap and his posse. It's because of him and his posse that the elite think they are masters of the universe. Sheesh. And as if these parties are clean. Of course, he didn't start all this. It's been part of the history of the Philippines that there were people like him. The elitists. Filipinos who think they're better than everybody else just because they have more money and they even talk behind each other's backs. Okay. What I'm referring to is the elite who does nothing for our country. I just put Tim Yap because I want to. Haha!


With all these crap that's happening to our country and given the powerlessness to change it all at once eventhough I really want for something radical to happen, this has been enough. I can stop complaining about all the shit. It's time to start doing something for the country. But this doesn't mean that the government should be appeased. I want the government to be restless. They better start doing something and don't mean catching bad guys on the streets. I hope it wouldn't be long for a person like V to appear.

"People should not be afraid of the governments, governments should be afraid of their people."

Shoot Me Now

It was my first official shoot. And probably my last. It was a fun experience but I guess I'm just not born to do that kinda stuff. But that was easy money and if offered again (which is unlikely..but yeah who knows?), I'd gladly do it. It's an experience. Once again, this proves I'd rather be working behind the scenes.

First of all, I'm not photogenic and I have my days of looking good and it ain't one of those days. Thank goodness for the power of make up!!! The power of Lala Flores! But the make up has limitations, I was in a fikkin bikini. Hah! My insecurities magnified! Howell. I'm sure they'll photoshop it...for sure they will. They have to!!!

Secondly...hay nako. Kase naman!!! The original concept wasn't like that. Only our faces will be shown. Fine with me. Then they cancelled. I thought it wouldn't push through. A week before the shoot, I'm told we'll be in beach wear. Wahh!!! And I've been pigging out for 2 weeks already Haha! I dunno if I'll be excited to see myself in an ad. I was never excited to see myself on videos (I've refused to watch my sisters' cotillions and my own, and when Green Evo appeared on UNTV just 3 days ago) But..I dunno. Maybe this is my karma. The world is going to judge me now the way I'm judging models harshly. Hahaha!!! Oh life.

Today was my first official shoot and probably the last. I'm not regretting I did it. It was fun. I'm just not that type of person, I guess. It ain't for me. But I'd do it again, definitely. Even if they'll show only my hand. Easy money, mehn!!! There's a lotta things one can do with a couple thousand bucks.

More than anything, it was a learning experience for me. I met new people which is always good. They're all nice, friendly and warm and they made us feel right at home. The studio was cool. The camera and the photographer's computer were also very cool, not to mention her record player. Her dog, Kitkat was soo cute. I'll mark today. March 17, 2006: My first official photoshoot for an advertisement. Wow, i'm putting first, assuming there's a second one. Hahaha!!!

Happy, Single, Free!

21 years of being Happy, Single and Free!!! I realized today: I've no boy nor prospect (not even a crush) and I'm perfectly happy and content. This is a good day, I love it.

I had a chat with my girlfriends last night: Toni, Ida, Kathy and Marga (for some strange reason, Abby wasn't online). It was the first time, I think Toni ever had a YM conference. Haha!!! We didn't bother talking about boys. Toni and Abby just got into UST Med school (WOOHOO!!!). It'll be their graduation on Friday (congrats!!!) and Toni will graduate as cumlaude (kabooom!). Ida will graduate on April 3 and she by the way, got best thesis (another kaboom!). I have brilliant girlfriends. I'm like a proud momma. I miss those girls and I can't wait for us to get together and just...I dunno drink our way the good old days. College days are almost over. We've shared this wonderful friendship for more than 8 years already and it keeps getting better. Sure, we have our own lives already. We've had different friends and we've done our own "experimentations" (yes, as Ida and I would call it) but the amazing thing is we never grew apart. Or at least that's what I think. We may not see each other all the time (criminy, I didn't see them on Christmas!) but when we converge, it's as if we were together the day before. I love them so much I'm gonna have 5 kids so I can get them the ninangs of each. And I want our kids to be friends too. Hehehe. Yeah, it's gonna be years before that happens, maybe even a decade (in my case..maybe 2 more decades..haha!), but that's gonna be a dream come true.

We've had our share of tears, too and it's all part of our bond. We can all be superficial but I really enjoy it when we can just sit down and talk about important things. That's what I miss actually. I miss having debates with Toni about anything. I mean anything: from politics, religion and even Backstreet Boys and N Sync. Haha! I miss talking to Abby about music and artsy fartsy stuff, and going to concerts and plays too! I miss laughing hard with Kathy especially when we talk about our bullying days in grade school. I miss talking about my frustrations and business plans with Marga. Ida and her stories always amuse me. Since Ida and I get to talk a lot (whether it be online or via landline or text), I don't really miss her. Haha. It's a good thing though. I mean, she's my easy access to the goddesses (and yes, that's how highly we think of ourselves).

It's just sad though that I don't get to hang out with Teng and Karla anymore. I dunno why. I wanna call Karla some time. I went to Therine's birthday dinner in Ipanema. I really made sure I went, even if I was there for a short time. I wanted to see her and know how she's doing.
So maybe as for Teng and Karla, we grew apart. But that wasn't my choice. I'm not saying it was theirs, but maybe it was? I have no idea and I don't want to jump into conclusions. I still love them though. And I wish the best of luck to both of them and in their endeavors. It's really sad that that's all I can say to them considering we have a great past. If I'm not mistaken, I was close to Teng first, even before Abby. We were seatmates in sophomore year and then we became really good friends. We talked on the phone a lot. Shared about our crushes at the time. My dad and her dad were business partners as well. Their family introduced us to Bukas Loob Sa Diyos. Which I'm grateful for (and Ate Erin is too, for sure..haha!). Karla on the other hand, I became close because we became "busmates." Oh in that terrible bus. If you can call it that. Then I'd surprise her with my phone calls once in a while. Hayy... Well..some friendships are like that. What can we do..

As for my college girlfriends, I'm really happy to have Ther and Sugar. Ther and I are always together. Sugar and I get together sometimes. The three of us have yet to party together though. Hehe. I'll be graduating soon and we really should do it before I leave La Salle. What's amazing about these girls is that we chose each other. Blockmates are like family. You don't choose them, they just are. Sure, I enjoy my blockmates a lot because they're really fun to be with, but you choose the people you love. For these 2, I chose them. There was Tats and Czar. We were the Spice Girls, as the boys would call us. But because of circumstances, Tats and I grew apart. And for Czar? I guess it was by choice. Oh well.

Then there's Madel and Lottie. My marketing girls. Madel's my blockmate but we only get to spend time with each other because we have the same course. Lottie, I met because we were classmates. Then one term, we became groupmates and eversince, we made a choice to be on the same classes. We've handled stress together, studied and cheated our way to our Marketing classes. It's just too bad I get to graduate first cos if not, we'll be thesismates and we'll have the best thesis award. Haha! We laugh together and support each other.

Having amazing girlfriends really is the reason why I am happy and free eventhough I'm single.

Not in the mood for anything

Over the weekend, got my hair dyed (dark brown..soo it's not obvious unless I stay under the sun), got a footspa then just got a facial this afternoon. I also the whole week last week (until now) just eating. I dunno.. All I kept thinking about is food. Damn. A week of depriving myself of food is bad (but I didn't do it on purpose..I just didn't have time to eat). I've also been having too much sleep. As in. I've been having too much of all the good stuff. I'm not feeling so good anymore. I'll get back to my fitness mode again tomorrow. I'm serious. Waahhh...then the "shoot" will be on Friday and I just learned that we'll be on our swimwear. Omg. I'm not ready for that. It's good though. I'll be motivated to run, lift weights and do pilates. I CAN DO THIS!!!

Big Hype just offered me a job (part time). They're asking when I'm gonna graduate. They said they can see potential in me. Wow, that's great. I'll be doing events! But we'll see, we'll see. I like organizing events but I don't plan on doing it for the rest of my life, I guess. Or if I do, I'd like doing fundraisings. I don't want spending people's money just to party. I want a good cause. And I'm so proud to say that we're donating a lot of money to LIFE because of the Green Evo success. If I'm not mistaken, what we're donating is 5 times more than what JEMA was able to raise in the past Green Evo parties (yeah..I'm bragging here). The fulfillment of throwing a really cool party and at the same time being able to give back something to society is a great, great feeling. All the stress I felt just melted away. But I dunno, about doing it for the rest of my life.. We'll see, we'll see.

Speaking of parties and the environment... I just hate hate HATE what Boracay is today. What used to be a paradise is now just a party place for kids and it's sickening. Kids do everything there: sex, drugs and rock and roll. Summer's already here and with all the airlines competing to get the lowest fares, kids get easy access. Sure, tourism is good for the country. But the government isn't doing anything to protect its natural resources. It's soo fucking annoying that kids brag about going to "Bora" and they do all sorts of stuff there. I mean, throwing up on the beach?! What the hell?! Then what? One day, they'll realize that Boracay isn't nice anymore, so they'll look for another place to destroy. And I'm thinking the next one is Bohol. Urgh. Then I hear about Tim Yap throwing a party there. Jeez. Tim Yap and his parties. I wanna puke. If Bohol turns to be the next Bora, I'll have him assassinated.

My Conadev prof told me this: people travel as tourists and not as travelers. Which is exactly how people act when they're in Boracay. They came there to have French Food served in their tables. In Boracay?! I mean, why not have seafood, right? Hayy nako!!! Utang na loob.

I wanna travel on Holy Week. Not on the beach though. I think I've had too much of the beach also. I wanna experience new things, and I'm hoping we could go somewhere none of us have been to. Experiencing new things as a family would be fun. Woohoo!! I wonder where we're going.

Cheers to Women All Over the World!

It's Women's Month. To all the beautiful women of the world, whattup?!?!
_____________________

March 8: Therine's Birthday. Finally she invited us to have dinner. Abby, Gaston and Ida were there. I'm happy to see them again...

_____________________

"Don't be too capable."

Miss T. said this when we were in Bangkok. We were doing or shopping and she complimented all of us and how we're all capable women. And we started talking about relationships, and how she ended up having a failed marriage. She was too capable, she said or at least she thinks so. Maybe her husband felt she didn't need him anymore.

Just wanted to share that. I'm too lazy to type... zzz..

SABAW!!!

Ayoko na mag aral. Shit. Pagod na ako physically pati mentally... Parang ngayon lang humahabol ung pagod ko sa Green Evo na yan. Hayyyy nakooooo!!! Sabaw na utak ko. I forgot about the newsbreak for Marknal, the test in Salesba and then I have to do this paper sa Conadev (which was due Monday)!

I need a drink. I need to get wasted..or high for a change. Hayyy!!!

I'm having a hard time catching up. If I can just stop time...

Husssaaaaaaaa!!!

Green Evo is finally over and it was a success. I'm so grateful for having a wonderful team. Hayyy... At last!!! I was able to have a good and longggg sleep. I'm not mad at those who weren't able to go (for whatever reason)...just a little hurt..but it's all good..it's your loss. Haha!!!

It was very tiring, running around up and down in my 3 inch heels making sure everything's okay and then posing for pictures, interviews, didn't even have the time to make pa-cute to the models and the bands (I was a monster, actually..screaming backstage) bleh... but I had a blast. My legs still hurt but it's all worth it. I'm happy but a part of me still feels things could still be a lot better. But whatever. Bad vibes won't get me today.

Pictures can be seen in my Multiply account... I'm still in a lazy mood..soo...