"Dream job."

I've just started officially working my new job this week. 3rd day on the job and already, I was forced to stay in the office til 9pm. WOW. So okay. I'm working in Enterprise, in the 25th floor, in a world-class company. Workload's heavy, the people are tough and there's so much is expected from me. During the interviews, there's just one thing my bosses wanted to know: can I handle it? I only gave one answer: BRING IT ON. Right now, I really feel like I'm the main character in Devil Wears Prada. I've a job a lot of people would wanna have. The only difference is, I like my job. I feel insecure all the time and most of the time, I'm pretending that I know what I'm doing. Jobs are piling up and I'm expected to deliver results. What I love about it all is that there's a lot of brainstorming going on and we bring it all to life. It's just amazing.

Time. I've always had time in my hands. I had the time to do whatever I want and now, this "dream job," I feel is sucking all the life out of me. I'm always tired, and hungry and all I wanna do is SLEEP. Seriously. And I'm talking like this on the first frikkin weekend after my first frikkin week. I'm not complaining. I knew from the beginning this job is super demanding. I'm just simply saying.

Bald?

Can I go bald? With my hair situation that seems like a good option. I think I'm not ready yet.. I'll cut it short again and then let's see if I can just shave it all off.

The End is a New Beginning

I went to the office today to submit my resignation letter and to finalize everything. IT WAS SOOOO HARD!!! Today's Monday so that means all the big bosses will have their weekly meeting. I was late so I was pretty shocked that Ms. Isa was still in the room. I greeted her of course but you can sense everything was awkward. I really can't look at her in the eye or share to her my weekend because I'm nervous. Yes, she understood why I was doing it but it's obviously hard on both of us. Hayyy...

So there I was, preparing everything for a smooth turnover. It was all good. I printed my resignation letter and since no one aside from my bosses know about it in the office, Angie was schocked to see what I was printing(I use her computer to print stuff). Then the inevitable happened. Word started to spread. My officemates started to approach me if what they heard was true and I tried to just keep a simple answer: "Yes." They'd wanna go into detail of course. Is the salary higher, where's the office, what are you going to do, blahhh. It's touching of course that they're all happy for me and even if they don't know all of the details, the knew it was for the better.

Truth is, a lot of the AE's in the office are unhappy. I'm not one of those people. The Senior AE's are already middle aged men and maybe they feel like they're underpaid and their job is so unstable because they haven't reached their quotas yet. They are the unhappy ones actually. I feel sorry for them in a way because I can see it in their faces that they're unhappy and they're doing it because it's the only thing they have right now. It really is difficult to look for a job, especially if you're getting old. Howell.

I'm happy in Hinge. Seriously. I had a great, great start. During my one on one with Ms. Isa, I really couldn't contain my tears! Whattacry baby. Tss.. Well anyway, I wasn't really able to tell her a lot of things because I was sobbing the whole time. She told me she believes in me and that I could do it. The big bosses wanted her to beg me to stay, but she didn't want to hinder my career growth. Ain't she nice?! Haha. Yeah she is. She showed me the works and I really appreciate it. It just really depresses me that I wasn't able to really give back to the company to think that they've given so much to me. Howell.

I was alone in the office. Bob and LJ were out with their clients, I guess. Ms. Isa left for a meeting. I cleaned my desk, placed all the stuff I had to give back on hers. Ms. D gave Sir Jun my resignation letter and asked him to give me my exit clearance. Sir Jun asked me, "Totoo na ba to?" Again, I just said "Yes." Sir Adel, my Heroes supplier came up to me, "I heard a bad rumor..." "Sir, it's not a rumor. It's true." At that point I wasn't looking at anyone. I'm concentating on my clearance form so they won't see how much of an iyakin I am. Bevs told me she'll give it to me so I went back to my empty office. I sat down for a while to check what I might have missed. Nada. Bevs gave me the clearance and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Goodluck Beh." (Hehe..she's really cute and funny, you'd think she's only in her 20's but she's already a mom and she's in her late 20's). Hayyy... I went down to the Accounting Office aka Harry Potter (it's under the stairs) to have my clearance signed, again, with the questions. Hayyy... It's really understandable I guess. One month on the job and already a resignation? It's boggling, unless everyone knew how unhappy you are. Howell.

I really did look at the room one last time (as in the movies!) and gawwwddd...tears filled my eyes. I had to suck it all up because everyone's gonna see (our office is a frikkin aquarium). I left the office, swiped out and headed to the car. Thank goodness I didn't lose myself!!! I could have been sobbing all the way to the car. Even while driving!!! Tss...

I can't really say it's the end for me in Hinge. I feel like I haven't even started. Bitin. So this new beginning in Arc, I hope I get to really finish it.

It Breaks my Heart!!!

My supervisor has just replied to my email. I swear, it took so much from me to even read it. There was only one new message in my inbox and that was her in response to my email informing her of my resignation. It has been in my inbox for almost 5 hours and I refused to open it. In fact, I went to the grocery first, had my lunch and stared at it for around 30 minutes. I was scared of what she has to say. I closed my eyes and prayed until I drifted off to my alpha (haha... i just fell asleep). When I snapped back (aka..woke up), I inhaled and then clicked on to the message. I was so nervous to read her message. I have just read the first line: "Hi Edel," and tears started to fill my eyes. Of course, she has nothing but nice things to say. She wishes me the best and she'll prepare the turnover documents tomorrow.

It really breaks my heart to leave Hinge! I'm such a crybaby. I hate it.

I'm IN.

Okay. I received the call yesterday from Weng, the HR of Leo Burnett. I'm IN. I guess I was THAT good during the interview that they want me. They're fillling up 2 positions and they haven't made their mind yet for the 2nd person. I am their first choice... !!! I'm really happy about this. I mean...it's frikking Leo Burnett!!! Well the guy Leo Burnett is an advertising man who came up with the Marlboro Man and the Pillsburry Doughboy, FYI. So basically, it's a frikking big ad agency who wants ME. Under Leo Burnett, there's StarCom and there's Arc Worldwide. Arc Worldwide is more on below the line advertising and that's where I come in. They were looking for an events person and they stumbled upon my resume. 3 interviews later, I'm in. Unbelievable. I don't know what the Goddess has connspired but here I am in the middle of all this.

A week ago, I thought that maybe I won't accept the job if ever they'd get me. For a few reasons:

1. It's contractual. Since the headquarters is in Chicago, and it's an MNC, they've already reached the number of employees they should have. Hence, they'll only regularize contractual employees when someone resigns, dies, or whatever. That also means I won't be getting any benefits: Health, SSS, etc. Is it really a bad thing? I mean, for me at least. And I just found out that the contract is for 3 months. According to them, if you're cut out for the job, they'll renew the contract. If not, goodbye.

2. I've had a great start in Hinge. My supervisor has given me practically all of the big accounts and I know she trusts me and believes in me that I can do whatever it is that I have to do. I think she also sees something in me. I dunno what exactly but it's just a feeling that she relies on me for the big accounts. I also feel for Hinge because it's in such a difficult position and they're having a hard time keeping their AE's. They've spent so much on me already in terms of training, etc. My compensation is low but I have commissions and benefits.

3. The interviewers made it very clear the job would be stressful and hectic that I won't even have time for a boyfriend. Hah!

But I also thought to myself why I should accept the job:

1. It's frikking Leo Burnett. I know I wouldn't stay and work there forever but if I'm planning on taking up my MBA abroad, working for a company like them is an advantage. So even if it's contractual, I really couldn't care less. Yes, the contract says 3 months but my salary is bigger. Not that I also give much importance to the salart at this point. I'm really after the experience. I feel like if I work there, even for just a month, I'd learn a lot. I've always wanted to work in a prestigious ad agency.

2. I'm young. If they don't renew my contract, at least I've had the opportunity. And besides, I will really work hard so they're renew my contract. I feel like this is an opportunity that won't come my way ever again, so might as well grab it.

3. Hinge is very unstable. My other officemates are also looking for other jobs. And they are senior ae's. I feel so unchallenged. As much as I like the people there, I feel like I'll look for another job in a few months anyway.

Now I don't have a lot of time. Arc wants me on board by March 14. That's on Tuesday? I haven't mentioned it to my bosses. Now it works to my advantage that the HR in HIP is slow that I haven't signed anything yet. I'm not yet a regular employee, although I wouldn't want to leave a bad impression. I've nothing bad to say about the products HIP is offering and I'm more than willing to help them. I feel like I should still give 15 day notice..but again, I've no time. I'll think this over the weekend.......

Decisions, decisions...

I'll have to think it over the weekend...

____

What if all my hair falls out and it will never grow back? It's a scary thought. 5 bald spots and counting. I'm kinda freaking out but I know I'll be okay. This is where faith comes in, I guess. I am becoming desperate. I am tired of looking for answers. But yesterday's visit to the OB gave me answers. It was dreadful, yes but at least that doctor's giving some answers and offering solutions.

*tired*

I am NOT stressed

Once again, I'm in and out of the hospital trying desperatley to find out what the hell's wrong with me. Could it be stress that's causing me to have 4 menstrual cycles in less than two months and my hair to fall off?! Hayy.. I don't even wanna talk about what happened to me during my visit with my OB. Urgh.

It's good to know a lot of people have alopecia. Was talking to Sugar and Bry has it, her cousin had it, Zaza's friend's sister had it, KIAN (the PBB guy) had it...it must be the in thing now.

Work is okay. As I've gotten to know the people in Hinge and probably mastering the art of sales in a span of 1 month, I can't believe I am facing a difficult situation. Well..I'm not yet in the decision making process but I really hope I do get to that point. Right now, I'm passing through a really dark tunnel, and I can almost see the light...

It's funny that even my Friendster horoscope has something to say:
Some new information you receive today should not make you change your mind.

Haaaaaayyyy... I want this to be over.

I'm so bored band I came across this...

DOES YOUR NAME FIT YOU?

Okay.. Let's see...

E - Freaking beautiful
D - Has one of the best personalities ever
E - Freaking beautiful
L - Best smile
Y - Is a freak when it comes to parties
N - Best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for

Hahahahaha! Ahluvit Ahluvit!!! Turns out yeah..I fit my name pretty well. On the words of my gay officemate,"Wagi tayo jan. Ganda ng lola mo!"

_______
A:LOVES TO FLIRT
B:Popular with all types of people.
C: weird
D: Has one of the best personalities
ever
E: Freaking beautiful
F: People wild and crazy adore you.
G: Never let people tell you what to do.
H: Easy to fall in love with
I: LOVES TO LAUGH
J: Freaking Rowdy
K: Really silly.
L: best smile
M: Makes dating fun
N: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone
could ask for
O: Loved by everyone
P: Popular with all types of people.
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Good Gf/Bf
S: the best person anyone could have
T: GREAT kisser
U: Gets hugs
V: Not judgmental
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: Is a freak when it comes to parties
Z: Lives life for fun
_______

I'm sleepy and bored. It's only 4pm. There's a small party tonight. Yey! But for now.. zzzz!

Happy Birthday to ME

I'm now 22. Got another surprise! Haha! It's funny. I guess I'm very easy to surprise. Best time to do it? While I'm asleep. Yeah..that'll really surprise me. I was asleep by 10pm. I skipped cell...I guess it wasn't a good idea because I loved my corporate attire yesterday (last week I went there in my PJ's..haha!). It just finishes so late! Howell. So anyway, I was dreaming of Brandon Boyd (for real!), when Zaza just kept making noises! She just came home and kept opening and closing the cabinets. It was irritating. I looked at my cellphone and in big bold letters it said 0059. It was frikkin 1am! I was so irritated I was gonna ask her what the hell took her so long. Then silence. I thought..FINALLY I can go back to sleep. And I did. I think... It was soo weird because I really felt like I was back in my deep sleep. Then I felt that red light in my eyes. Ya know..that light that comes out before the flash in a digicam. Then *FLASH!! I saw Ate Erin holding the camera and then laughed so loud. I was disoriented. I honestly wanted to scream at her: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! NATUTULOG AKO!!! MAAGA PA BUKAS NOH!!! Good thing I didn't!!!

I got up and then my whole family was there with big smiles on their faces. My brother held the video cam, my mom holding up Polly's chocolate cake, my Dad with a huge smile on his face and Zaza somewhere at the back. They were singing the birthday song. I covered myself with my favorite maroon pillow and said "ANG BADUY!!!!" It's really baduy. But sweet. And y'all really got me!!! Haha! I even asked the time.. I thought it was frikkin 5am..turns out it was just 10 minutes after I fell right back to sleep. I blew the candle and I made a wish..actually..I blew the candle WHILE making the wish.. Haha. So after that, we went to the TV room because Mom said there were siomai. Haha! I love siomai. So we ate, and then went back to sleep. It was like Christmas eve. We were all in our PJ's and we were having a feast. It's just too bad though because I wasn't able to eat as much siomai. I was soo full.. But howell.. I love y'all for doing it for me.

Okay...so what else happened today? Hmmm..I brought a really yummy cake in the office I asked mum to buy last night. Everyone greeted me. Gave my bosses slices of the cake and then had lunch with my officemates who really munched the whole thing. It was weird because this guy from the office who is hitting on me kissed me on the forehead in front of everybody!!! And I think my reaction was too obvious because I made THE face. It's THE face that I make when I find something totally gross. Ick. But anyway, he's a nice guy and it's his last day today because he resigned. But still.. Ick!!! Other than that, I really felt good today.

I'm 22. A lot of people greeted me. I feel blessed and loved. Let's see.. how many people remembered me? Aside from the people at work and the one here at home... 39!!! Yey!

Okay..back to work tomorrow.. I really need to work.. and be early because for each minute I'm late, a certain amount in my salary is deducted. And since I'm throwing a small get together... I need money. Haha!

See y'all Sabeerday!